San Francisco Bay Times - October 8, 2020

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2020) October 8–21, 2020 http://sfbaytimes.com

HARVESTING HOPE in Wine Country A Report from Wine Country by Liam Mayclem Pages 2–3

Harvesting Hope in Wine Country

Photos courtesy of Liam P. Mayclem

Liam’s LGBTQI List Liam P. Mayclem When I think about Wine Country, what comes to mind is a place that celebrates life with great food, friends, and family. I think of conviviality and hospitality, and, of course, some of the world’s best wines. More recently, Wine Country— Napa, Sonoma, Lake, Mendocino, and Solano counties—has become fire country with devastating fires that have crushed the region year after year after year, turning dreams to ashes, reducing family wine businesses to rubble, and creating unfathomable hardships that will take years from which to recover. As the "Glass Fire" (named after Glass Mountain Road) that started September 27 continues to rage through Napa and parts of Sonoma counties, evacuation orders are being lifted and residents are heading home to survey the damage and loss. Tourists and Bay Area wine fans are wondering when they can visit again. The California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (Cal Fire) this week reported that 1,235 structures have been destroyed by the Glass Fire alone, with another 242 damaged. Twenty plus wineries have been scorched or burnt completely to the ground. At least 66,840 acres in total have burned during the fire that is, as of this writing, still active. Wine Country had not yet even fully recovered from past fires. In 2017, the Tubbs Fire brought devastation to the region, the worst it had suffered in decades from Sonoma to Napa to Lake and Mendocino counties. Last year, the Kincade Fire wiped out 77,758 acres and was the largest blaze of the 2019 CA wildfire season. Just six weeks ago, the LNU Lightning Complex Fires raged. In all, more than four million acres of California have burned this year. “It’s the new normal,” say so many. Gary Saperstein, founder of Out in the Vineyards and Gay Wine Week, hopes it is not, but said dealing with the Glass Fire was like déjà vu.

Liam Mayclem shared a toast with winemaker Henrik Poulsen at Alpha Omega winery in St. Helena.

Gary told me for the San Francisco Bay Times: “It’s reminiscent of the 2017 fires, because in that year, I was evacuated and fortunately the fires did not make it down the hill to me. Thank you to the firefighters who built their firewalls and protected my home.” A resident of Sonoma, Gary has been working in Wine Country hospitality for thirty plus years. When he heard of Meadowood and Calistoga Ranch being casualties of the recent fires, he took it personally. “This was really sad, truly sad to see the destruction,” he said. “You can’t help but think of everyone involved with those establishments: the jobs, the people who made them magical places. I know many of them. The sense of loss is truly, truly tragic.” Both Calistoga Ranch and Meadowood Napa Valley resorts have

Grapes on the vine at Robert Mondavi Winery in Oakville

a special place in my heart, too. I have enjoyed great meals and overnights stays, have hosted events, and filmed interviews on location at both properties. To this date, one of the most amazing meals of my life was a dinner at The Restaurant at Meadowood with my partner Rick. It was cooked

by three Michelin-starred Chef Christopher Kostow. We all have memories like this, ones we shall forever cling to. The outpouring of love on the Meadowood Instagram page and elsewhere was hearttugging with a star-studded Chef lineup of condolences: David Chang: “A magical place. I am so sorry.” Daniel Boulud: “So sorry. No words can replace it.” Dominique Crenn: “Heartbreaking loss of an iconic, gorgeous resort in Napa.” Mourad Lahlou: “... my heart is broken. Another icon fell. So many dreams, so much work.” Meadowood will rebuild and rebound, but hurting even more are those who lost their jobs and their homes. Some lost literally everything. The list of wineries damaged, devastated, or reduced to rubble by the recent fires conveys more than names on a wine bottle. The wineries are dreams fulfilled, and now many of those dreams are gone. Some of the impacted wineries had been in families for multiple generations. They are the history of the region without which there would be no Napa or Sonoma Wine Country. The entire Behrens family (Les, Lisa, Schatzi, Robin, Sean, Con-

With First Responders (2019)

2

SA N F RANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

nie, and Ethan) of Behrens Family Winery on October 1 wrote: “As you have probably heard, our sweet little winery building, guest apartment and beloved Westcraft Trailer were burned to the ground in the Glass Fire on Monday morning. Our new tasting room and crush pad/tank barn are still standing and the chickens and their coop have survived.” They continued, “These are just buildings and they are gone, but our winery is the people and our 20 acres on Spring Mountain and we are still here and have wonderful wines that remain safe in our warehouse ready for you whenever you want. We have a big mess to clean up and that we will do as soon as it is safe, then we will move forward.” Burgess Cellars’ Howell Mountain winery was destroyed, although there was minimal damage to their vineyards. Cain Vineyard and Winery was largely destroyed, given the loss of the winery itself, Cain’s historic 1871 barn, barrels of the 2019 vintage, and this year’s new wine. Hourglass Winery incurred extensive damage, including the loss of a 162-year-old guest house and winemaking facility. One of my favorites, School House Vineyard on Spring Mountain since the 1950s, lost a house, but their wine stored off site was saved. These are just a handful of so many tragic stories.

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2020)

PHOTO BY KINGSLEY HURLEY

“The wine country needs your love, prayers, and visits.” –Jean-Charles Boisset

Host Gary Saperstein (third from right) with guests enjoying an Out in the Vineyard event.

The Theopolis Vineyards team, including Theodora Lee (right), welcomed Liam to their tasting room.

Charles Boisset—the winemaker I lovingly refer to as the Mayor of Wine Country— is the producer of JCB Unity wine and more, and is a supporter of Out In the Vineyard. He is hopeful that the smoke damage will be minimal. “2020 will be a challenging vintage, of course,” Boisset said. “We will only make and sell wines from this vintage that reflect our standards of winemaking excellence. Many of our best vineyards had been picked prior to the start of the Glass Fire and so we hope for the best.” Vintner Theodora Lee of Theopolis Vineyards, an LGBT Black female-owned and operated business, is confident for a smokefree vintage: “We have picked our Symphony and Pinot Noir, and plan to pick our Petite Sirah this Thursday,” she told me. “As of now, the smoke will not impact our 2020 harvest.” Jeff Loomis of Loomis Estate Vineyards in Napa Valley is a close friend and he was among the first to step up and sponsor the fundraiser “ChefsGiving” after the 2017 fires. Now, in 2020, he has become a victim of the fires, but he has hope in his heart.

With Jean-Charles Boisset- JCB / De Loach / Raymond 2019

The following is a more complete list of the wineries, restaurants, and other hospitality businesses reported to have been lost or damaged in the fire: Behrens Family Winery Bremer Family Winery Burgess Cellars Cain Vineyard and Winery Calistoga Ranch Castello di Amorosa Chateau Boswell

Davis Estates Dutch Henry Winery Fairwinds Estate Winery Fantesca Estate Hourglass Winery Hunnicutt Wine Co. Meadowood Napa Valley Merus Wines Newton Vineyard Paloma School House Vineyard Sherwin Family Vineyards Spring Mountain Vineyard Sterling Vineyards

Tofanelli Vineyards Tuck Beckstoffer Vineyards Those who escaped the fires have stories, too: of relief and of hurt for their unfortunate neighbors. The loss to winemakers of smoke-tainted grapes has also meant uncertainty around the 2020 wine vintage. Many grapes were already picked before the Glass Fire started. Jean-

“We worked very hard for the last 8 years to get perfect clusters, all properly spaced and centered in the fruit zone. Gorgeous fruit. [There was a] total loss of harvest due to the fires,” he said. “We dropped the fruit to the ground last week. We are heartbroken but optimistic. We will survive and thrive!” The economic impact of the coronavirus pandemic was tough enough to swallow, and now there is such loss resulting from another round of fires. The months of September and October are important for Wine Country. It is the fall crush, moneymaking season when visitors venture here in droves, snaking along Highway 29 or through the long and winding Wine Country roads of the Russian River region. Gary says it is normally the most popular time of year for winemakers and tourists alike.

“We’d be smelling the scent of grapes in the air, which I love every year,” he said. “And I literally was just thinking about that the other day as I was driving and there was all this intense smoke and the air quality was so bad. [The scent of grapes] is what we’re supposed to be smelling right now. We’re not getting that. So that is really sad.” Jean-Charles, however, says that, despite the fires, much of Wine Country is open for business and ready to receive you. “The Wine Country needs your love, prayers, and visits,” he said. “The smoke is clearing and our phenomenally talented first responders are containing the fires rapidly. We suggest you call any winery you plan to visit in advance, but know that we miss you and cannot wait for you to visit very soon.” Theodora added: “Donate funds to firefighters and small boutique wineries who lost everything. Please support the small lot wineries as they have lost the most. Larger operations will recover, but we must support the handcrafted and family-owned brands. We depend on your purchases to survive as we are mostly direct to consumers.” Gary is optimistic that 2021 will be a better year and is eager to take LGBTQI groups back out to the vineyards: “I know we in Wine Country will survive and I know we will thrive. As members of the LGBTQI community, we will always come out and support those who have supported us.” The recovery for many is on and the fight continues for others. Let’s raise a glass to the helpers, the first responders, and to the brave souls risking everything to save homes, lives, and livelihoods. To quote Tom Colicchio, who left this message on the Meadowood Instagram page: “Like a Phoenix you will rise.” And that speaks to the spirit of Wine Country folk—they are resilient, they are fighters, and they will all rise again with hope and strength in their hearts.

For More Information About the Featured Wineries and Businesses JCB Collection: https://jcbcollection.com/ Loomis Estate Vineyards: https://www.loomiswine.com/ Theopolis Vineyards: https://www.theopolisvineyards.com/ Out In the Vineyard: https://www.outinthevineyard.com/ School House Vineyard: https://www.schoolhousevineyard.com/ Meadowood Napa Valley: https://www.meadowood.com/ Calistoga Ranch: https://aubergeresorts.com/calistogaranch/ Donate Red Cross: https://www.redcross.org/ Napa Fire Relief Fund: https://www.napavalleycf.org/2020napacountywildfiregiving/ Sonoma Fire Relief: https://sonomacountyfirerelief.org/about-us

Liam with friends at the iconic Robert Mondavi Winery

Emmy Award-winning radio and television personality Liam Mayclem is regularly featured on KPIX as well as KCBS, where he is the popular Foodie Chap. Born in London, Mayclem is now at home in the Bay Area, where he lives with his husband, photographer Rick Camargo. For more information: https://www.bookliam.com/

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

O C TO BER 8, 2020

3

ELECTION 2020

LGBTQ History Month: Voting for Our Histories Past and Future invested in the truest ideas of democracy and its promise to promote fairness, equity, and due representation. Obviously, beyond litigating towards the right to same sex civil marriage equality as the U.S. Supreme Court ruled law of the land, the fight against similarly repressive and oppressive laws and practices against LGBTQ people in the U.S., once the beacon of democratic hope, continues.

Cross Currents Andrea Shorter This October 2020 marks the 15th Anniversary of LGBTQ History Month. Did you know that LGBTQ History Month was originated by a high school teacher in Missouri? We can thank Rodney Wilson for making history by making LGBTQ history a regular occurrence in his classroom to extend celebration of gay and lesbian trailblazers beyond national Coming Out Day on October 11—also Cleve Jones’ birthday: Happy Birthday, Cleve! The tradition of LGBTQ History Month is that each of the 31 days of October celebrates an LGBTQidentified person who has or is making notable contributions to advance LGBTQ civil and human rights, cultural impact, and more. According to this year’s LGBT History Month calendar, today (October 8) we celebrate Menaka Guruswamy and Arundhati Katju. In fact, this October 8 is the only date on which two persons are celebrated, and what a bonus. Guruswamy and Katju are the amazing team of public interest litigators who fought the long battle that eventually brought about the landmark judgement in India’s high court to overturn a 157-year-old law outlawing homosexuality. The 2019 overturn of outdated vestiges of repressive British colonial rule in India was the win heard around the world and from within the world’s largest democracy. This long-awaited end of nearly two centuries of outright prejudicial and oppressive homophobic law in India should be celebrated by all

While we are in a time of critical reckoning with the long-term, deep damages of systemic racism and the gross social, economic, and justice disparities caused by racism, we still live daily as second class citizens without consistent anti-discrimination protections for LGBTQ people including in employment, housing, credit, education, public spaces and services, federal funded programs, and jury service. The long-awaited passage of the Equality Act would provide those protections. Without Democrat majorities in the Congress and Senate, and a Democrat president into the next term, we are not likely to finally see passage and enactment of the Equality Act for potentially decades to come. The recent heartbreaking loss of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg; the expected GOP-driven, fast-tracked rush to replace her with a conservative jurist nominee to basically reverse and demolish the progressive legacy of Justice Ginsburg; and this president’s relentless coup staging campaign to undermine voter confidence in the safety and legitimacy of the upcoming elections per vote-bymail ballots, compounded with, yet again, his refusal to denounce white supremacist groups and violence are but a few of the latest trials and troubles demonstrating just how much our democracy is under severe threat. Before The New York Times’ big reveal that Trump himself is $400 million in debt to who knows, and that— assuming he survives COVID-19— he will continue to be vulnerable to being compromised by foreign entities to whom he is likely indebted, the urgency of removing Trump and his family from the White House, and fighting for Democrat majorities in both chambers of the legisla-

tive branch is as urgent as can be. Trump’s recent rallying bluster to end critical race studies in universities as deemed by him (a/la Steve Miller) as un-American should give us further cause for pause. An authoritarian threat to ban reality-based education about the histories of people of color as not complimentary or reverent to the history or idea of a colonial white majority dominated nation is a threat to the teaching and celebration of LGBTQ history as well. Fifteen years is not a long time to enjoy formal teaching and celebration of LGBTQ history in public schools in Missouri, California ... anywhere. In that respect, we are just getting started. This election is proving to be the most important in our lifetime. It is painfully obvious and sobering that the outcomes of this election will impact our well-being as LGBTQ people seeking, demanding, and deserving equal protection under federal law. In that respect, LGBTQ history—how it unfolds into the next term, and how our stories are told or not—is also on the ballot. For the record, for our histories past and yet to come, please vote accordingly. Andrea Shorter is a Commissioner and the former President of the historic San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women. She is a longtime advocate for criminal and juvenile justice reform, voter rights and marriage equality. A Co-Founder of the Bayard Rustin LGBT Coalition, she was a 2009 David Bohnett LGBT Leadership Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.

Dean for D5 By Jennifer Kroot Jennifer Kroot: Why is it that so many LGBTQ leaders have endorsed you? Dean Preston: For years, I’ve worked with the LGBTQ community in challenging real estate speculation, evictions, and displacement. Prominent Dean Preston (left) with Tom Ammiano, and Juanita MORE! LGBTQ politicians have at Cafe Flore (now known as Flore on Market) always led on issues around lator tax. Harry Britt fought for rent housing affordability and stacontrol. So many of my mentors bility. Harvey Milk led on a specuare from that community, folks like Mark Leno, Christina Olague, Tom Ammiano, Sue Englander, and Cleve Jones. I’m also delighted to have support from LGBTQ entertainers: Juanita MORE!, Honey Mahogany, and Joshua Grannell (aka Peaches Christ). It’s such an honor! Jennifer Kroot: Has the pandemic changed your goals for D5? Dean Preston: The pandemic magnified many issues that I came into (continued on page 28) 4

SA N F RANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

PHOTO BY WILL J. ZANG

Last November, Dean Preston’s grassroots campaign for District 5 Supervisor prevailed over big moneyed interests in a special election. It’s déjà vu for D5! Supervisor Preston is running again, and against the same oppoJennifer Kroot nent. Dean has secured major endorsements, including The San Francisco Democratic Party, The Harvey Milk Democratic Club, and the Sierra Club. I spoke with Dean about his work in D5.

BAY TIMES S

ELECTION 2020

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2020)

November 3, 2020, Election Recommendations my personal candidate choices. Note, these are my recommendations in my role as “political-junkie-columnist” and not the official endorsements of the San Francisco Bay Times.

Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History Louise “Lou” Fischer Finally, after four long years with a nihilistic disrupter in the White House, the most important election in history is nearly here and our long national nightmare version 2.0 hopefully will be over. While Gerald Ford coined Nixon’s presidency as the original national nightmare, Ford never could have foreseen a wannabe autocratic dictator, con man, grifter ascend to the highest office in the land, rig the system, and suppress the vote so he could win a second term (and ostensibly avoid jail time). Do your part and vote and then join phone/text banks to contact folks outside of California and beg them to vote. In San Francisco, there’s the usual mix of uncontested races and some competitive nail-biters. Here is my review of the November election with

U.S. President If you are not voting for Joe Biden, there is something seriously wrong with your ability to form rational thoughts. I’m not supposed to criticize my readers, but did you watch the first debate? Have you missed the destruction of democracy in the last four years? I’m an empathic person; I don’t wish illness on anyone, and I sincerely hope for a speedy recovery for Mr. and Mrs. “Superspreaderin-Chief,” but the “downplaying of the virus” caused over 7 million COVID-19 cases in the U.S. and more than 210,000 deaths, one of whom was my partner’s sweet and gentle father, so yeah, it got personal. U.S Congress Nancy Pelosi (CA-12); Jackie Speier (CA-14) Madam Speaker is running against someone; don’t vote for him. Why would you vote against the Speaker of the House? If you live in Congressional District 14, vote for Jackie Speier. State Senate Our own LGBTQ leader and icon, Scott Wiener, is running for reelection against a bright, progressive woman of color who has colorful and well-designed window signs. While I do support women running for office and I respect the opponent’s educational background and tenacity, Scott is the hardest working person in elected office. He is a veritable

“Legislative Machine” who has probably cranked out more legislation than entire state delegations of smaller states. Vote for Scott. State Assembly David Chiu in AD 17 and Phil Ting in AD 19 are running basically unopposed. Vote for them. Bart Board, Districts 7 and 9 If you live in the tiny sliver of San Francisco that is represented by District 7, vote for incumbent and current Board President Lateefah Simon. She’s a smart, engaging, community leader and the youngest ever awardee of a MacArthur “genius” Fellowship. In District 9, gay incumbent and former SF Supervisor, Bevan Dufty is running against three other candidates; go with what you know and vote for Bevan. SF Board of Supervisors District 1: Marjan Philhour District 3: Danny Sauter District 5: Vallie Brown District 7: Borrow one of Emily Murase’s fabulous hats and put Joel Engardio, Myrna Melgar, and Emily’s names on three slips of paper, shake the hat, and the order in which you draw the names is the order you should put on your ranked choice ballot. Or be an identity voter: Joel/Gay, Myrna/Jewish, Emily/ Japanese-American. District 9: Hillary Ronen District 11: Ahsha Safaí I covered the Board of Supervisors race in last month’s issue and want to reiterate the importance of voting for Marjan Philhour in District

1 and Vallie Brown in District 5, both of whom are in very tight races. Vallie’s race is particularly challenging as she is running against a recently elected incumbent who is really good at talking but not so good at doing. I’m sick and tired of less experienced white men of means and privilege beating out more qualified women. Vallie served the district for 10 years as a Legislative Aide and knows that having others say what’s best for the district without input from the actual people within the community results in disenfranchising the actual community you purport to serve. When London Breed was elected to the office of Mayor, she appointed Vallie to fill her D5 seat on the Board, and in 14 months as an appointed Supervisor, Vallie passed over 30 pieces of legislation on a diverse set of issues. I doubt her opponent even comes close. Another cause for concern is that women make up 50% of the population of San Francisco and yet we only have 3 women (out of 11) on the Board of Supervisors (that’s a paltry 27% for those of you keeping score). In the Community College race, both Alex Randolph and Ivy Lee are stepping down, which leaves two open seats. There are 11 candidates in the race and voters may select up to four. I recommend re-electing the two LGBTQ incumbents Tom Temprano (gay) and current Board President Shanell Williams, who

identifies as bisexual. There are two particularly interesting candidates with direct experience in education and public service. Secondtime candidate Dr. Victor Olivieri is not only one of the kindest, most chivalrous gentlemen in all of San Francisco, but is also a college professor and a product of the Community College system. As a non-English speaking immigrant who came to this country at the age of 12 and struggled with the educational system, he has first-hand experience and understanding of the importance of a stable and consistent City College system. My other recommendation is newcomer Aliya Chisti who, if elected, will be the first Muslim woman elected to any office in San Francisco. (Wow, 1.9 billion Muslims in the world and we’ve never elected one in SF?! We really do live in a bubble.) In her day-job, she oversees the Free City College Program at the Department of Children Youth and Their Families (DCYF), so let’s elect someone to the City College Board who is actually dedicated to making free college a priority. The Board of Education race always makes for good copy. There are ten candidates for four available seats, which makes it easier to review the options as opposed to 2018 when 19 people ran in the “Wheel of Fortune” race—spin the wheel a few times and vote where it landed. I’m

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

(continued on page 29)

O C TO BER 8, 2020

5

BAY TIMES S

ELECTION 2020

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2020)

Meeting ‘Everyday Jacquelyn,’ the Inspiring Security Guard Who Nominated Biden

6/26 and Beyond John Lewis & Stuart Gaffney Jacquelyn Brittany got up the morning of December 16, 2019, and went to her job as a security guard at The New York Times just like any other day. She had no idea that her life was about to change forever. Joe Biden had a meeting with The New York Times editorial board that day to try to gain their endorsement for the Democratic nomination for president. Biden and his staff happened to get Jacquelyn as their security escort on the elevator going up to his meeting. In typical Joe Biden fashion, he greeted her, saying, “Hi, how are you today?” with a great big smile. Jacquelyn took it from there. As captured in a New York Times video that went viral, Jacquelyn responded spontaneously: “I’m great. I love you.” And as he thanked her, she continued: “I do. You’re like my favorite.” The two decided to take a

6

SA N F RANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

Last week, we learned first-hand that Jacquelyn herself is awesome. In the months following Jacquelyn’s chance encounter with Biden, she has emerged as a powerfully articulate, fearless, and magnetic advocate, who was given the honor of nominating Biden for the presidency at the Democratic National Convention in August. Since nominating Biden, Jacquelyn in collaboration with the founders of the Everyday American Joe website ( http://everydayamericanjoe.com/ ) recently embarked on a national education and advocacy tour for “everyday Joes, Janes, and Jacquelyns.” Their vision is to “give a voice” to the many “working class Americans across the country, (who) are rarely given a platform or voice in politics at a national level.” We had the pleasure of spending a truly delightful afternoon with Jacquelyn along with her fellow activist Chris Gilroy when they visited San Francisco recently. We loved Jacquelyn as soon as we saw her on national television, but we fell in love with her when we met her. We realized we are kindred spirits. Sixteen years before Jacquelyn’s life-changing encounter with Biden, we too had gotten up one morning—February 12, 2004—unaware that our life was about to change

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

forever. February 12, 2004, was the day San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom opened the doors of City Hall for LGBTIQ couples to marry. We showed up for an already planned Marriage Equality USA rally at City Hall that day, and because of that we got to be one of the first 10 couples to marry and have been working actively for marriage equality and LGBTIQ rights ever since. For us, the marriage equality and LGBTIQ rights movements are about our human dignity and our common humanity. Jacquelyn and Biden’s interaction in the elevator last year embodied those same values for all to see. As Jacquelyn explained to the nation in her nominating speech: “I take powerful people up on my elevator all the time. When they get off, they go to their important meetings. Me, I just head back to the lobby. But in the short time I spent with Joe Biden, I could tell he really saw me. That he actually cared; that my life meant something to him.” Most importantly though, it was not just Biden’s graciousness, but Jacquelyn’s respect for herself that gave her the confidence to engage with Biden as an equal in the elevator and spontaneously share her perspective directly with him. Her openhearted confidence catapulted her to becoming a national voice on behalf of countless other peo-

ple who saw themselves in her. And like those of us in the marriage equality movement, Jacquelyn seized the moment with love. When we met Jacquelyn last week, her unique combination of intelligence, inquisitiveness, and personal warmth really Jacquelyn Brittany, who really did meet Joe Biden in “her elevator” at struck us. As an The New York Times, surrounded here by sign-carrying friends during African American her recent visit on Castro Street. lesbian, Jacquelyn and become friends. And now we strongly identifies with both the are fellow activists on the path to Black Lives Matter and LGBTIQ achieve equality and dignity for all. movements. As we showed her around the Castro on her first visit Election day is just weeks away. to San Francisco and shared stories We invite you to join Jacquelyn and discussed LGBTIQ history, and many others on her journey on we saw for ourselves how naturally Twitter @_ Jacquelyn2020 and at she related to everyone she met and https://wegotavoice2.com/coast-2-coast embodied the vision we shared of Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis, inclusion and non-division. It was together for over three decades, abundantly clear to us that just as were plaintiffs in the California Jacquelyn told the nation that “Joe case for equal marriage rights Biden has room in his heart for more than just himself,” so too does decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. Their leadership Jacquelyn. in the grassroots organization If we hadn’t made the effort to Marriage Equality USA contribshow up for a marriage equality uted in 2015 to making same-sex rally 16 years ago, and if Jacquelyn marriage legal nationwide. hadn’t taken the risk to speak her heart and mind to Biden last year, we likely never would have met

PHOTO COURTESY OF CHRIS GILROY

selfie together. The last thing we see in the viral video is Jacquelyn telling Biden, “You are awesome.”

BAY TIMES S

ELECTION 2020

GLBT Fortnight in Review A Brave Rat How will we start our column this week? Trump’s bizarre behavior? The insane debate? The start of the new Supreme Court session, featuring Justice Thomas’ latest attack on the 2015 marriage equality ruling? Or maybe the betting game that lets you pick which of several wild Alaskan bears will gain the most weight prior to hibernation? Hibernation is a concept that has always appealed to me. Weeks of deep sleep and relaxation. No responsibilities. A healthy stretch free of alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, and sugar without the chore of summoning up will power. And when it’s over, the darkness has lifted and spring is returning to the land! Birds are chirping and daffodils abound. The pale green buds color the trees. The soft breezes and the first sensations of the sun’s heat touch your skin. You are refreshed. All your hibernation weight has gone to fuel your winter survival. You’re fit and trim. Joe Biden is president. Let’s see what else. I also have taken note of a grotesque sounding attempt to package and sell used condoms. And in more animal news, I was touched by the hero African giant pouched rat, Magawa, who has won an award for his work sniffing out land mines in Cambodia. What a fine rat. But you know me. In a toss-up between the High Court, Magawa, and the bears, I have to start with the Court, where we now have a very,

very small chance of delaying the Barrett confirmation. I have no doubt that Mitch McConnell will use every trick in the book to hold that vote, but with the Covid diagnosis of three GOP Senators, including two on the Judiciary Committee, there’s a fractal of light in what was a pitch-black vista. And what if the vote is delayed past the election, and Democrats post a large victory? Could that change the calculus in the lame duck session? Could statesmanship raise its longburied head above the sand? Perhaps, but at the very least, delaying the confirmation of Amy Barrett until after November 3 will prevent her from participating in the November 4 oral arguments on Fulton v City of Philadelphia, the next big GLBT case which will ask the justices whether or not Philadelphia has a right to insist that its foster care contractors do not discrimination against same-sex couples. That would be a start. Calm Down Everyone, The Court Won’t Overturn Marriage While we wait for McConnell and company, the eight-person Court is back in business, and my inbox is filled with alarming suggestions that the far-right majority is planning to reverse marriage equality, an absurd premise bolstered by a threepage antigay comment from Clarence Thomas, joined by Sam Alito. The pair were making a point about a petition from our old pal, Kim Davis, the former Kentucky county clerk

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2020)

By Ann Rostow who is still trying to litigate her right to simply ignore the High Court’s marriage equality ruling. The two men agreed with their six colleagues that the petition for review should be rejected. But they thought nonetheless that her faith-based right to give same-sex couples the middle finger in the course of conducting official duties was legitimate.

But they are highly likely to drive a truck through civil rights protections, allowing bakers and candlestick makers and the Kim Davises of this world free rein to discriminate against gay and lesbian couples.

“Obergefell,” Thomas wrote in reference to our 2015 marriage victory, “enables court and governments to brand religious adherents who believe that marriage is between one man and one woman as bigots, making their religious liberty concerns that much easier to dismiss.”

Pass the Imitrex

In the Sixth Circuit ruling that went against Kim Davis, Thomas continued, “one member of the Sixth Circuit panel in this case described Davis’ sincerely held religious beliefs as ‘anti-homosexual animus.’” He writes as if such a description reflects absurd hyperbole, rather than simple truth. Just because the rationale may be assigned to “sincerely held religious beliefs,” doesn’t mean that it does not reflect “anti-homosexual animus,” the legal term for disliking gay men and women. Indeed, the problem with creating a loophole to exempt antigay conservatives from civil rights laws is that their “animus” is almost always based on religion, or professed to be so. Ergo, when you allow “faith” to trump GLBT civil rights laws, those laws become meaningless. The High Court isn’t going to roll back Obergefell or stop marriage equality.

(Thanks again, Justice Kennedy, for issuing a useless murky ruling in the Masterpiece Cakeshop case and then retiring under Trump.) I’m reading that gays and lesbians are more prone to migraines than straight people. Even people who described themselves as “mostly straight” had significantly more of these headaches, according to a UCSF survey of 10,000 people. That’s odd, don’t you think? And I assume you’ve heard about the clever hashtag gambit, launched by Star Trek veteran George Takei, in which gay men are posting romantic photos of themselves and their partners on Twitter under the rubric: “#Proudboys.” The white supremacists were previously kicked off Twitter, which left them open to our naughty trickeration. They have been relegated to an app called Parler, where they are free to be as venomous as they please, and while many members of the group are furious, some of them, in turn, are insisting this doesn’t bother them at all because they’re not homophobic and they even have some gay adherents. I’m not sure that’s true as a general rule; I’ve found that people who spend their energies spewing hatred for “the other” don’t differentiate

much between this “other” or that “other.” That said, it wouldn’t surprise me if a subset of these brothers in bigotry embrace a kind of white, anti-Semitic fraternity that would welcome like-minded macho gay men with open arms—in every sense. I was just about to toss Poland into this GLBT news hodgepodge, but the situation appears so horrifying and chaotic that I’m having a hard time. Over 100 towns have declared themselves GLBT free zones, in violation of EU rules. And the far-right government makes the Trump administration look like the board of HRC. I was trying to figure out the details of their opposition to a proposed EU-wide domestic violence treaty, which they want to replace with a kitchen sink family values alternative, but it’s all too much. I simply have no room in my head for complicated bad news from foreign shores when I can’t keep up with our own daily disasters. What Just Happened? I Forget Speaking of migraine drugs, (I just researched “Imitrex” for my earlier headline), what is it with these lengthy pharmaceutical commercials that go on for minutes at a time, and seem to apply to the one person in five hundred who might be, let’s say, using a blood thinner and a cancer drug at the same time for some rare condition that might also be treated with a different cocktail of medications? They never end! Indeed, most of the ads are taken up with shots of people playing with kids and taking walks

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

(continued on page 28)

O C TO BER 8, 2020

7

How to Unmask Your Financial Phobias

Money Matters Brandon Miller I’ve always loved Halloween for its sanctioned flamboyance, especially here in San Francisco. But this year is sadly subdued. That’s highly ironic given that masks are now de rigueur and we’re living through a year with more horrors than a cable channel Fright Fest. The wild uncertainty infiltrating our lives is causing a lot of anxiety about many things that may never before have entered our consciousness. But fears surrounding money, well, they have likely been around since the Chinese introduced the world to currency over a millennium ago. In my practice, I try to help clients unmask their financial fears and reveal how money is simply a tool for creating the life they want. Perhaps you recognize your own phobias in some of these common “what ifs,” and can benefit from my suggestions for handling them.

don’t know what they actually have. To calm your qualms, start with a realistic assessment of your assets and debts. And define what you want the money for. For example, are you saving for a retirement that entails traveling the world, moving somewhere cheaper, or turning a hobby into a business? Knowing what you want helps you to figure out the costs and create a plan to get from where you are to where you’re going.

the possibilities that open up with a diversified investment strategy.

What if ... someone becomes a burden on me?

What if ... I don’t trust stocks or the market?

Whether a special needs child, an elderly relative, or a beloved friend, if your wealth needs to protect others, I usually suggest a more conservative investment strategy with lowerrisk investments since the cash needs to stretch across several lifetimes. Annuities, special-needs trusts, purchasing long-term care insurance for a parent, and other creative solutions may also be options to explore.

I’ve had clients that either feared or loathed stocks and Wall Street and avoided them altogether. The problem with this is that it’s tough to achieve diversification without them. All-cash instruments mean you could be safely losing money to inflation and real estate lacks liquidity if you need money quickly. To combat your distaste for stocks, I suggest looking into socially responsible companies that align with your values so that you are investing in something you believe.

What if ... I’m overspending and under-saving?

8

SA N F RANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

With shocking downturns seemingly every other day, you may be numb to this phobia. If not, look at history to see that over time, the market has recovered. That being said, a welldiversified portfolio where you invest in different asset classes can help you lessen the impact of market swings.

Most of us don’t have unlimited funds, so we have to find a balance between enjoying today and saving for tomorrow. Again, knowing where you stand financially and what you want your money to accomplish is key to easing your anxiety. The math will tell you if your spending/saving levels are fine or you need to make adjustments.

What if ... I become a slave to money?

What if ... I make a mistake with my investments?

What if ... my wealth ruins my children?

If you find yourself paralyzed with indecision, you could probably benefit from working with a financial professional. I can often show relucThe biggest reason people fear not tant investors the true cost of continuhaving enough money is because they ing to do what they are doing versus What if ... I run out of money and become a burden on someone—or homeless?

What if ... the market crashes?

It’s hard to give up a gravy train that’s rolling your way. On the other hand, how much is your precious— and limited—time worth? Only you know the answer to how much wealth is “enough” for you. Just remember that money isn’t the goal, but instead is the tool to finance your dreams.

I hope you have instilled good money habits in your offspring so this won’t be an issue. But there are ways you can set up your estate—with trust (continued on page 27)

Message from Leadership

5 Ways to Grow Your Business with the GGBA in 2020

By Krystal Drwencke and Aaron Lander direction. Introduce yourself to a board member and tell them what you do; they might know the perfect person to connect with you!

As the world pushes through the middle of 2020, it has become apparent that our relationships and communities are more important than ever. With national leadership nowhere to be found, now Krystal Aaron more than ever, it is our comDrwencke Lander munity strings that will get us through these trying times. The Golden Gate Business Association (GGBA)—the nation’s first LGBTQ+ chamber of commerce—wants to help you build meaningful and long-lasting business during this time and beyond.

2. Fill out your online membership profile. Make sure that your member profile is complete in our online directory. Completing your profile helps to boost your online SEO and it allows our community and people looking for LGBTQIA2+ owned or allied businesses to find you. 3. Attend events (virtual now and in-person hopefully soon). People do business with people whom they like, know, and trust. If you consistently show up and further the mission of the community, it will be difficult not to cultivate meaningful relationships—professional and personal. The GGBA hosts monthly networking events (Make Contacts) and a variety of other workshops and events throughout the year. Our signature Power Lunch event (for 2020, held before this year’s shelter-in-place) hosts an expo and business pitch that can help to boost your presence to our corporate partners.

With any connection, it takes continued attention and care to develop business relations. The GGBA is here to assist you in this process, but just like any relationship, you have to put in time and be present to really feel the impact the GGBA has on our business community. Here are five ways to get the most out of your GGBA membership: 1. Get to know the board members.

4. Sponsor a networking event or other member programming.

The GGBA has a working volunteer Board of Directors that is here to help. If there is a specific way your business needs to grow or an introduction that you need, the GGBA board members are a great resource and can point you in the right

GGBA Member Spotlight

One positive outcome of the current climate is that it makes partnering for virtual events easier than ever and has made our events more diverse. If you have an idea for an event or

5. Do business with members in our directory. While positive change has come to the LGBTQ+ community over the last decade, the work for equality is far from over. By going to our online member directory, you can discover LGBTQ+ and allied organizations to do business with. Supporting those that are driving for socioeconomic change helps to elevate LGBTQ+ presence in the business community and also drives the relationships that will get us through to the other side of 2020. Growing your business during COVID-19 can be tough and the GGBA is here to help. We look forward to seeing the LGBTQ+ and allied business community snap back from this setback and build a more sustainable and just future. The GGBA is a leading advocate for LGBTQ+ businesses in the San Francisco Bay Area since 1974. Our mission is to champion opportunity, development, and advocacy for our LGBTQ & allied business community. Want to learn more? Visit us online ( https://ggba.com/ ) or reach out to vp@ggba.com Krystal Drwencke (Vice President) and Aaron Lander are GGBA Board Members.

Christopher Lintz of CHEER SF and the CHEER For Life Foundation

Since 1980, CHEER San Francisco— the official cheer team of the City and County of San Francisco— has been thrilling crowds locally, nationally, and internationally with their unique brand of high-energy performances. The all-volunteer group is dedicated not only to providing polished professional entertainment, but also to the philanthropic mission of the squad, serving as true ambassadors of goodwill to the communities in which they perform. CHEER SF in 2004 proudly began doing business as their own nonprofit called the CHEER For Life Foundation, Inc. The nonprofit has turned their amazing performance work into a means of providing support to organizations that provide services to individuals and families facing life-threatening challenges such as HIV/AIDS and breast cancer. Christopher Lintz, the President of CHEER For Life Foundation, first joined CHEER SF as a performing volunteer in 2007. Here, he shares more about the Foundation and how being a member of the Golden Gate Business Association (GGBA) has helped over the years. GGBA: Please describe your business and its mission and values. Christopher Lintz: Since 1980, CHEER San Francisco has worked to entertain, inspire and activate audiences while improving the lives of people living with life-challenging conditions in the LGBTQ+ community and beyond. That’s right, we’re celebrating our 40th anniversary this year! As the world’s first LGBTQ-identified charitable cheerleading team, CHEER SF creates exciting performances featuring highflying stunts and energetic dance routines. Our performers—all adult volunteers—brighten events throughout the Bay Area (and around the globe!) raising spirits, funds, and awareness for organizations doing critical work in our community. GGBA: What led to the formation of CHEER SF?

program that helps to educate our membership on business or community, this is a great time to partner with the GGBA.

Photos courtesy of CHEER for Life Foundation

Christopher Lintz: CHEER SF originally began in 1980 as the Hayward Raw Rahs, who put down a boombox and performed in the streets of the Castro at a time when such acts were so critical for bringing our community together. After a decade as a proud performing unit of the Jon Sims Center for the Performing Arts, CHEER SF began doing business as our own 501(c)3 in 2004—the CHEER For Life Foundation. Our charitable mission has become our primary focus: our performances power direct fundraising to support nonprofits offering services to at-risk individuals in the community. We’ve donated over half a million dollars to local, national, and international causes. Just this month we were thrilled to present $60,000 in grants to our current beneficiaries, including the LYRIC Center for LGBTQQ Youth, the AIDS Legal Referral Panel and the LGBT Asylum Project. GGBA: Who are some of your role models, and especially those who helped to influence CHEER SF? Christopher Lintz: We are so fortunate to be in a city with a history of strong, vocal, and creative LGBTQ+ leaders fighting to improve the lives of everyone in our community. We are continually inspired by the volunteers who work with our beneficiaries— these are the folks on the ground providing services every day to our neighbors living with life-challenging conditions. GGBA: Why did you decide to join the GGBA? Christopher Lintz: The strong network of LGBTQ+ nonprofits and businesses has been critical to our organization’s success over forty years. While this has historically been driven by individual relationships, we felt it was important to tap into the organizing and networking that GGBA offers in order to maintain a close connection with all the incredible organizations in the area. (continued on page 27)

GGBA’s Annual Meeting was held on Tuesday, September 15. “Strength & Resilience in a Time of Adversity” was the theme of the online gathering, acknowledging the convergence of COVID-19 adversities, the rising tide of social justice issues, and the inability to connect in person to build relationships. Gina Grahame, outgoing president, reflected on the past twelve months, and Michael Gunther, incoming president, talked about directions for the year ahead. Vice President Krystal Drwencke led the group in honoring a number of GGBA legends, including board member Olga Garcia, Leadership Award; and Gina Grahame, Visionary Award. Watch the meeting video: https:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTJpY_zASNQ&feature=youtu.be

GGBA CALENDAR October Make Contact Build Back Better: Brand Strategy and Networking Event October 13 5:30 pm–6:30 pm via Zoom Led by GGBA board member Anna Colibri of Colibri Digital Marketing Join to discover: • Why brand strategy is important now more than ever; • 3 takeaways to implement for your brand this month; • Meet with other small business professionals and get to know their businesses. Share your story of power and possibility! Register at: https://ggba.com/event-list/#!event-list For information on this event and more: https://ggba.com/

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

O C TO BER 8, 2020

9

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman, Co-Founders Randy Alfred, Founding News Editor 1978

Mega Philanthropy: Demanding More established organization or wealthy individual (top 1%) to fund a worthy cause. Let’s call them our megadonors.

Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-601-2113 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610 E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men. We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community. The Bay Times is proud to be the only newspaper for the LGBT community in San Francisco that is 100% owned and operated by LGBT individuals. Dr. Betty L. Sullivan Jennifer L. Viegas Co-Publishers & Co-Editors

Beth Greene Michael Delgado Abby Zimberg Design & Production

Kate Laws Business Manager Blake Dillon Calendar Editor

Kit Kennedy Poet-In-Residence J.H. Herren

Technology Director

Carla Ramos Web Coordinator Mario Ordonez Distribution

CONTRIBUTORS Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Patrick Carney, Kate Kendell, Alex Randolph, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Tim Seelig, Cinder Ernst, John Chen Rafael Mandelman, Jewelle Gomez, Phil Ting, Rebecca Kaplan, Kin Folkz, Leslie Katz, Philip Ruth, Peter Gallotta, Bill Lipsky, Elisa Quinzi, Liam Mayclem, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Derek Barnes, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller, Jamie Leno Zimron Michele Karlsberg Lyndsey Schlax, Randy Coleman, Debra Walker, Howard Steiermann, Andrea Shorter, Lou Fischer, Karin Jaffie, Brett Andrews, Karen E. Bardsley, David Landis, Jan Wahl

Social Philanthropreneur Derek Barnes Throughout the year, amid a health crisis and ongoing social unrest, some nonprofits, not all, saw record increases in their development fundraising. Donors who had the means and the will to contribute generously found ways to help address the increasing demands from all segments of our society. One area really caught my attention. I began noticing enormous pledges and charitable commitments from some of the world’s largest companies—marquee brands we all know. Part of this is just good corporate citizenship and individual altruism. I wondered what else could be fueling this activity, why is it so important now, and who’s ultimately holding people accountable in fulfilling these commitments. More importantly, what names didn’t I see in the headlines? Mega-philanthropy isn’t well defined. However, most have adopted the definition as a sizable multi-million-dollar gift (tens or even hundreds of millions) by a large, well-

Photographers Rink, Phyllis Costa, Jane Higgins Paul Margolis, Chloe Jackman, Bill Wilson, Jo-Lynn Otto, Sandy Morris, Abby Zimberg, Deborah Svoboda, Kristopher Acevedo, Morgan Shidler, JP Lor ADVERTISING Display Advertising Standard Rate Cards http://sfbaytimes.com/ or 415-503-1375 Custom ad sizes are available. Ads are reviewed by the publishers. National Advertising: Contact Bay Times / San Francisco. Represented by Rivendell Media: 908-232-2021 Circulation is verified by an independent agency Reprints by permission only. CALENDAR Submit events for consideration by e-mail to: calendar@sfbaytimes.com © 2020 Bay Times Media Company Co-owned by Betty L. Sullivan & Jennifer L. Viegas

12

SA N FRANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

Recently I asked one mega-donor, “What helps to determine who gets the big checks from you?” The answer surprised me. A donation rarely occurred if there was a direct ask or even if the mega-donor had a relationship with someone in the organization making the ask. Instead, this particular mega-donor was motivated to give to organizations or individuals who provided a service to remedy a specific issue/ problem or life challenge they had. The response definitely challenged my personal view of philanthropy, but I understood why using this logic is rational to some people. I don’t want to resurrect a loaded phrase from our recent political discourse, but a kind of “quid pro quo” (something for something) came to mind when I heard the mega-donor’s response. It seemed a bit utilitarian and self-serving. Then it occurred to me that there are many donors with a similar mindset—especially mega-donors. One’s personal experience and set of values primarily drive where they direct their philanthropic funding and support. And personal relationships do matter, especially when determining the size of the gift. Here’s a great example of megaphilanthropy with a more subtle quid pro quo. Michael Bloomberg committed $1.8B to John Hopkins University in late 2018. Bloomberg wanted the institution to offer more generous financial aid packages, replace loans for many students with scholarship grants, and make the campus more socioeconomically

diverse. Why John Hopkins and why this explicit use? Bloomberg attended the university and struggled with the “problems of money” when pursuing his education, as stated in a 2018 New York Times article.

needs (like education, infrastructure, and other social programs). The revenue shortfalls create significant gaps in municipal budgets for investments in people, safety, and community services.

A few challenged Bloomberg’s decision and his use of funds to make tuition affordable and accessible for more people because it didn’t get to the root cause of the problem or address other systemic issues. But John Hopkins provided the foundation (the “quo”) that Bloomberg leveraged to open doors that would have otherwise been closed and ultimately build his empire. He also had a profoundly personal experience at the school that he knew was shared by many students today. His donation (the “quid”) would help remove the financial burden and high cost of education as a barrier to entry for deserving students.

Often, a business’ decisions and practices can promote unfavorable social conditions: a class of workingpoor people, lack of housing, access to affordable healthcare, and environmental stress. Corporate megadonors often donate to promote a positive image, assuage some guilt for things they’re doing and not doing, or neutralize a reputational threat.

Another challenge with some companies, their executives, and board members who also engage in megaphilanthropy is that they’re not always good corporate citizens—living wage issues, working conditions, environment, etc. Some may not pay their share of state or federal corporate taxes, although the current tax code and system may make this permissible. For companies that rely on our consumer dollars, a moral obligation to serve, protect, and equitably invest in our communities should be preserved in an innate set of corporate values. The bottom line is that a company may generate billions in revenue and pay little to no income tax. Inevitably, appropriate levels of tax revenue can’t be collected and redistributed to fund community resources and

Pre Covid, there seemed to be a steady increase in philanthropic giving in the U.S. Tax-exempt organizations gave over $400B in 2017, according to the Giving USA’s annual report. This is primarily due to mega-philanthropy, while smaller individual donations are decreasing. A growing gap between the top 1% and the lower-income households is the primary driver, explaining this trend. I recently spoke to the Chief Strategy Officer at PRC in San Francisco, Katherine Bella, who confirmed this continued and escalating trend in 2020. Individual giving can be the lifeblood for many nonprofits and be a tool for cultivating the future’s next mega-donors. If capitalism is perpetuating these long-standing societal conditions and widening the socio-economic gap, what greater responsibility do companies and the wealthy 1% have to do more? It’s good that mega-philanthropy is on the rise if a more equitable distribution of those funds to (continued on page 13)

honor their legacy and this special piece of San Francisco.” Both Lyon and Martin were founding contributors to the San Francisco Bay Times and were honored in several prior issues of the paper. https://tinyurl.com/y27928cw

In the News a broader and diverse portfolio of needs can be achieved. Let’s put all this into perspective. At an estimated net worth of almost $200B, Jeff Bezos became the wealthiest person in history during a pandemic that devastated world economies—not to mention what Amazon was already doing to competing businesses before COVID-19. On June 30, 2020, Amazon reported over $320B in revenue for the fiscal year. Imagine the impact if Bezos stepped up philanthropy personally and through his company by annually committing at least 5% of his total net worth and Amazon’s gross profit. He and other corporate leaders could direct funding to nonprofit foundations like Horizons, Stonewall Community, Gill, Ford, and Arcus. With proper accountability and governance, these foundations could more effectively interpret community need and strategically target funding to realize the greatest impact. The other part of this equation is to focus on micro-philanthropy or everyday giving. The trend for this type of giving has declined. We have to find ways to activate and engage younger people who have the time and resources to provide, and midtier donors who have a track record of giving to participate more. We should challenge companies we do business with to do more too and check out their historical philanthropy. With annual revenues of $270B and a gross profit of almost $100B, firms like Apple can also do much more to serve its consumers’ communities. In addition to major gifts to respond to national and international emergencies or causes, Apple uses an employee donor match

(up to $10K) as part of its “Giving Program” to guide its charitable donations, according to one executive I contacted. In 2018, Apple reported that it raised over $365M worldwide through its “Giving Program” and donated more than $125M. These numbers sound impressive. However, Apple has a global workforce of almost 140K people, and I’m sure most don’t participate in the match program. What is the company doing to change this? When you do the math, it just doesn’t add up to the philanthropic leadership and full potential that this company can achieve. Imagine the impact if Apple committed only 5% of its annual gross profit to more philanthropic endeavors. Social justice, equality, education, and security have always been aspirations for most donors and even more so today in 2020. Many find that charitable contributions help to level the playing field and offset some of the appalling conditions created by capitalism. Philanthropy is the great equalizer to extreme forms of capitalism, and we should challenge ourselves and others to give more— especially mega-philanthropists. It shouldn’t be a binary choice between paying taxes or philanthropic giving. Let’s engineer the right mix of the two because they are both required to sustain civilization and maintain our humanity. Derek Barnes is a Co-founder at g-dii Enterprises ( www.g-dii.com ) and a Senior Consultant at Ignition Point Consulting. He currently serves on the boards of Horizons Foundation and Homebridge CA. Follow him on Twitter @DerekBarnesSF and on Instagram at DerekBarnes.SF.

First Openly Gay Individual Appointed to California Supreme Court Governor Gavin Newsom on Monday, October 5, appointed Martin Jenkins to the California Supreme Court. When Jenkins takes his seat at the bench, he will become the first openly gay justice on the state’s highest court. He will also be only the third Black man to serve on the court. “Justice Jenkins is widely respected among lawyers and jurists, active in his Oakland community and his faith, and is a decent man to his core,” Governor Newsom said in a statement. “As a critical member of my senior leadership team, I’ve seen firsthand that Justice Jenkins possesses brilliance and humility in equal measure.” Jenkins was born in San Francisco and got his start in law working for the Alameda County district attorney’s office. His appointment to the California Supreme Court has been widely praised by LGBTQ community leaders. Rick Chavez Zbur of Equality California, for example, said that the Governor’s decision was “a monumental step forward for the LGBTQ+ community and for our entire state.” https://tinyurl.com/y4cnzfgg Manny Yekutiel of ‘Manny’s’ Nominated to Serve on SFMTA Board of Directors Mayor London Breed on October 5 nominated Manny Yekutiel—proprietor of the namesake civic events space, café, and restaurant Manny’s—to serve on the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA) Board of Directors. “I’m excited and proud to nominate Manny to serve on the SFMTA

Board of Directors,” said Mayor Breed. “I am confident in his ability to bring a fresh perspective to the Board and represent the needs of San Francisco small businesses and residents alike. Manny knows how to bring people together and make sure everyone has a chance to share their diverse perspectives. He’s a regular rider of public transportation in our City, and understands how critical Muni is to everyone in our City, especially our workers. In response to COVID, Manny has played a huge role in transforming Valencia Street into a space that supports our residents and helps businesses thrive, and I know he will bring that same energy and commitment to the Board.” Yekutiel shared his powerful coming out story in the previous issue of the San Francisco Bay Times. https://tinyurl.com/y6td5a9x SF Home of Iconic Lesbian Couple Set to Become an Historic Landmark Last week Supervisor Rafael Mandelman introduced a resolution to initiate an historic landmark designation for the longtime Noe Valley residence of lesbian rights and social justice activists Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin. Supervisor Mandelman said that they “were trailblazers in the LGBTQ rights movement and the home they shared for more than half a century has clear historic value that needs to be preserved and memorialized.” He added, “I look forward to working with community leaders like The GLBT Historical Society and those who knew Phyllis, Del, and their home first hand to

Belgian Leader Becomes Europe’s Most Senior Transgender Politician Petra De Sutter of the Flemish Green Party, Groen, last week was appointed as one of Belgium’s seven Deputy Prime Ministers. The new position makes De Sutter the most senior Transgender politician in Europe. She also holds the distinction of being the first Transgender minister (politician who heads a ministry) in Europe. Previously, De Sutter was a Member of the European Parliament (2019–2020), a professor of gynecology at Ghent University, and the head of the Department of Reproductive Medicine at Ghent University Hospital. https://www.petradesutter.be/bio GLBT Historical Society to Bestow Honors at Upcoming Virtual Gala The GLBT Historical Society will bestow five awards at their Gala to be held on October 16, 6 pm–7:30 pm. This year’s recipients of the History Makers Award, given “for significant artistry and contributions to LGBTQ history and culture,” are Miss Major, Pamela Peniston, and Dr. Maggi Rubenstein. The Clio Award, given “for advancing understanding of LGBTQ history,” will be presented to historian and GLBT Historical Society founding member Gerard Koskovich. The recipient of the Willie Walker Founders Award, presented “for steadfast support, philanthropy and leadership,” will be Juanita MORE! https://www.glbthistory.org/gala

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

O C TO BER 8, 2020

13

Celebrating Latinx Heritage Month

Special thanks to San Francisco Carnaval 2020 Center (Color photo) Leticia Lopéz, Entertainer and Volunteer Photo Credit: Rodrigo Ehecatl Durán Clockwise from top left: Margarita Gandia, Philanthropist Ani Rivera, Executive Director, Galería de la Raza Felicia Medina, Attorney, Activist, Volunteer

Christopher Vasquez, Communications Director, NCLR

Roberto Hernandez, Executive Producer, Carnaval

Adriana Ayala, Executive Director, Chicana Latina Foundation

Ester Hernandez, Visual Artist

BAY TIMES S

Supporting Small Businesses in the Castro & Beyond

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2020)

Photos by Juan R. Davila

The Academy

Open: Thursday–Saturday 5–10 pm; Sunday 2–7 pm Reservations are required Check the online calendar for upcoming events. 2166 Market Street 415-624-3429 info@academy-sf.com Contacts: Nate Bourg and Paul Miller http://www.academy-sf.com The Academy is an LGBTQ+ social club based in San Francisco and is open to all. “We believe it’s the only brick and mortar institution of its kind in the U.S.,” founders Nate Bourg and Paul Miller told the San Francisco Bay Times. “It was founded with the idea of building a community of dynamic individuals focused on promoting diverse social interaction, contributing to society, and uniting through shared experiences.” The Academy seeks to be a destination and resource for the community and offers classes, expert panel discussions on current issues and events, plus entertainment, their own events, and social interactions.

Nate and Paul in an outdoor patio seating area

Paul and Nate in the Piano Lounge at The Academy

Bourg and Miller report that The Academy has come through the pandemic benefiting from the silver linings. Their free virtual events will continue, making it possible to expand outreach to members and the broader community. On site, their garden terrace area has been converted into distinct outdoor social spaces for small groups of up to six with each group having their own dedicated area. Some in-person events are now available such as outdoor hikes, wine tastings, and discussion groups. For San Francisco Bay Times readers, a 25% discount is offered on the first three months of membership after completing the application process. Submit an online inquire to learn more.

Interior area at The Academy

Paul and Nate ready for guests!

Lisa Hair Design

Open Monday–Saturday, 10 am–6 pm Call for reservations; Walk-ins welcome 419 Castro Street 415-626-6268 lisahairdesignsf@gmail.com Contact: Lisa Lisa began her Castro tenure working at Nice Cuts and, more than a decade ago, opened her own shop to serve the needs of her enthusiastic customer base. Working with her colleague Jeannette, Lisa has earned a reputation for her hard work, welcoming personality, and fine-tuned skills as a seasoned hair stylist. The small but friendly shop is located conveniently on Castro Street near Twin Peaks, Hot Cookie, and The Castro Theatre. San Francisco Bay Times team members have enjoyed many visits to Lisa’s and join numerous Castro neighbors in encouraging all to stop in and meet her.

LISA HAIR DESIGN/FACEBOOK

“She has the cheapest yet best haircuts in San Francisco!” one customer declared. We agree and believe that Lisa deserves an award for the care and great value she provides.

The Cove on Castro

8 am–9 pm daily 434 Castro Street 415-626-0462 coveoncastro@gmail.com http://www.thecoveoncastro.com Owners Maurice and Solange Darwish have become legends among their many friends and customers who rely on The Cove regularly for its good food and friendly atmosphere. Darwish’s parents took over the restaurant in 1971, and it is now recognized by the City of San Francisco as a Legacy Business. Offering a full menu for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, The Cove also frequently presents videos and photo shows specific to its LGBT clientele. In response to the COVID-19 pandemic, The Cove, in conjunction with 440 Bar, installed an outdoor “parklet” seating up to 35. The Cove has also upgraded its online ordering and delivery services affiliating with ChowNow, DoorDash, Uber Eats, and Grubhub. Takeout orders have expanded for those who choose to enjoy The Cove’s good food on the go. THE COVE/FACEBOOK

For many, going to The Cove is considered a “must do” during any Castro visit. San Francisco Bay Times readers can enjoy a 10% discount for saying the secret code: “The Cove 2020”!

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

O C TO BER 8, 2020

15

Donna’s Chronicles

By Donna Sachet

“Life is short! Try saying ‘Yes’ more frequently, ‘No’ less often, and ‘Maybe’ once in a while.” –Donna Sachet

I

t’s funny how something as simple as the repeated blare of a fire alarm can elicit an entire range of emotions, thoughts, and physical reactions. When the fire alarm system in the building in which we live was recently tested at an early morning hour, this column took an entirely different direction. After reading the San Francisco Chronicle cover to cover (admittedly without the sports section), we were startled to hear a repeated high-pitched tone, announcing the testing of the building’s fire alarm system. Even though we had received notice of this test, the piercing sound came as an unwelcome surprise.

First of all, our delightful little puppy Peanut went into a fit of discomfort, seemingly experiencing pain at the pitch of the sound as well as a restless fear that something was terribly wrong. For several minutes, comforting this helpless animal with hugs and soft verbal assurances was the top priority. We have often wished that Peanut could tell us what was wrong when she is not feeling well and now, we wished we could tell her in a way she could understand that this was simply a routine test and no cause for real concern. But lacking a common vocabulary, we resorted to calming caresses. What if this had not been a test, but a real emergency, requiring immediate action? As any pet owner knows, the responsibility for their well-being falls on our shoulders and that weight can feel very heavy in emergency situations. Soon, our thoughts turned to those who have experienced the threat of wildfires in California. What first went through their minds as they smelled menacing smoke and got the official call to evacuate? What items does one hastily grab before leaving the safety of home? Should that include a laptop computer or are its contents somehow safely stored in “the cloud?” Is that little stash of cash readily available to snatch from its hiding place, are there irreplaceable personal mementos close at hand, and what legal documents would be most difficult to duplicate? Having moved from a larger place into a small apartment over the last couple years, we have certainly streamlined our possessions considerably, but regardless, we remain surrounded by a collection of comforts that represent our life and we would be hard pressed to sacrifice them. We can only imagine the emotional turmoil another person might face if a house full of furniture and other possessions was suddenly endangered. Recent fires to the north of San Francisco are a constant reminder of the fragility of our existence, the true value of possessions, and the importance of having plans in case of an emergency. As the fire alarm continued to wail, we thought about how many other people would be faced with heart-wrenching fears for the safety of their loved ones. When faced with an approaching fire, sudden earthquake, or other disaster, many people awake not to a furry pet, but to their life partner and/or other family members. Is everyone accounted for? Can we all get to safety quicky? How do we reach missing family members or other loved ones to check on their safety? All those thoughts race through the mind, even as one embraces those close by. In the time of this pandemic, many have commented on missing personal contact, physical affection, and social intimacy; how quickly would they embrace when faced with impending disaster? Several minutes into the piercing sound of the alarm, growing increasingly perturbed at the interruption, our thoughts turned to the unfinished business of life. What goals stay unachieved, what projects remain, what words are left unsaid? Yes, it now seems silly, but we began a process of self-evaluation, as if faced with a real life-threatening emergency. Just as those victims of wildfires and other natural disasters and those faced with a dire diagnosis due to COVID-19 or some other health emergency, we rifled through our mental files as if our time on Earth was coming to an end. Some might consider it morose, but isn’t it wise to occasionally stop the mania of our hectic schedules and ponder the greater questions of life? Better to confront unexamined issues while capable of taking action than to postpone their consideration until action is impossible.

Calendar

a/la Sachet Saturday, October 10 Mr. & Miss Gay Pageant Imperial Court’s virtual event Hosted by Ruby Red Munro 4 pm www.imperialcouncilsf.org Saturday, October 10 Soirée 2020 SF LGBT Community Center’s virtual gala Hosted by Sister Roma, entertainment curated by Juanita MORE!, DJ LadyRyan, online auction 6 pm Free! But donations welcome www.sfcenter.org Friday, October 16 Reunion: Making History GLBT Historical Society’s virtual gala Hosted by Peaches Christ & Marga Gomez 6 pm–7:30 pm www.glbthistory.org Saturday, November 7 MIGHTY REAL: PRC’s annual gala Online event with special guest Patti LaBelle 6 pm www.prcsf.org

Finally, the monotonous repetition of the blaring fire alarm suddenly ceased, leaving a dull echo in our ears. Peanut returned to a restful nap and we set about our morning routine. For us, no real emergency existed. For the moment, life continued as it had. But later that day, we made a couple of long-delayed phone calls to friends, we pulled some legal documents and cash from their forgotten corner, and we checked on the memory storage of our computer. Oh, and we gave Peanut an extra caress and a tasty treat. Our compassion and empathy for those faced with harrowing emergencies has grown larger and deeper. We return to normalcy with a little more self-awareness. Maybe that routine fire alarm building check served a larger purpose. Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco. Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com

Throwback to 2015, Donna and other Imperials appeared on the front and back covers of the San Francisco Bay Times (1.22.15) in this Vanity Fair-esque image by Gareth Gooch Photography celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Imperial Council of San Francisco. Now, Donna has informed us that the virtual cinema release of the film 50 Years of Fabulous: The Imperial Council Story is coming on Friday, October 23. To find out more: https://bit.ly/3hDPb3b

PHOTO BY SHAWN NORTHCUTT

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

O C TO BER 8, 2020

17

This Month at the Castro Farmers’ Market Fall and Farmers’ Slowdown

PHOTO COURTESY OF PCFMA

By Debra Morris

Apples at the Castro Farmers’ Market

Farmers and the farmers’ markets they attend have been quite resilient for the last six months, despite the restrictions that the coronavirus pandemic has forced upon them. But fall is here, winter is coming, and many farmers’ markets are beginning to close for the season. There are still many farmers’ markets that remain open year-round, and other sources for them to sell their products, so all is not lost. These small local farms are undeniably important to the economy and to local food systems. That’s why we ask that you support these small farms and shop local farmers’ markets as much as you can. There’s a bright side to the slowdown of fall, which is when families visit farms that offer pumpkin patches, hay rides, U-pick apples, and corn mazes. This time of year, along with roadside farm stands and CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) subscription boxes, many local farms enjoy a fairly lucrative agribusiness with these activities. Many times, this can help to sustain a farm until spring. Even with COVID-19 restrictions, many farms will still open for these fall activities. The way we go about participating in these fall activities will undoubtedly change this year. A pumpkin patch or corn maze can be safe if you wear a mask and observe social distancing. Being outdoors can be safer than being

S ICE COOKIE P S IN K P M CRISPY PU ing soda 2 teaspoons bak 1 teaspoons salt rature at room tempe er tt bu ns o po 11 tables gar 1 cup brown su 1/4 cup molasses esh grated ginger 1 tablespoon fr in purée 2/3 cups pumpk 1 large egg dusting pepper White sugar for tmeg, and black nu , ve o cl , n o nnam flour 1 to 3 dashes ci le wheat pastry ho w r o se o rp 2-1/3 cups all-pu electric ients. Using an ed gr in ry d e in, th Whisk together molasses, pumpk d d A r. ga su d tter an g and mixer, cream bu minutes. Add eg o tw r fo ix m d an and fresh ginger minute. re o indoors, too. Check with mix for one m and your local farm to ensure in plastic wrap, gs lo k ic th ch in Slice they are open during the panForm two 1-1/2oven to 350°F. at he re P s. ur demic and are following safety o ho t. refrigerate for tw on a cookie shee e guidelines, and then enjoy one ac pl d an es ic sl 8 minutes, of your favorite fall activities. log into 1/3-inch sugar. Bake for te hi w h it w p he temp is Sprinkle the to Now in Season re to 200°F. (T tu ra pe m te e th pumpkin then drop ike cookie. The At the Castro market you’ll dis-l ke ca a id o .) av cover a wide variety of apples regular cookies turned down to an th r te is o m h e doug oling from Rainbow Orchards in purée makes th . Transfer to a co py is cr l ti Camino, loads of different un s te u Bake for ten min grape varieties from Ken’s Top Notch out of Reedley, lovely rack and serve. earthy mushrooms from E&H Farms in Oakdale, winter squash and leafy greens from Happy Boy Farms of Watsonville, and delicious free-range fresh eggs from Shelly’s Farm out of Brentwood. The farmers’ market is the place to shop for fresh-from-the-farm produce in varieties you won’t find anywhere else!

Debra Morris is a spokesperson for the Pacific Coast Farmers’ Market Association (PCFMA). Check out the PCFMA website for recipes, information about farmers’ markets throughout the region and for much more: https://www.pcfma.org/

18

SA N FRANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

National Coming Out Day Photos Courtesy of Tim Seelig

TLC: Tears, Laughs and Conversation Dr. Tim Seelig “I’m coming out.” Regardless of whether you heard this for the first time straight from Diana Ross’ lips in 1980 or in the Trolls movie in 2016, it has proven itself to be one of the favorite earworms of the gays for exactly 40 years! You can hardly say those words without singing them—in rhythm. While the tune is as perky as it can be, coming out is seldom described as perky. It is difficult, at some level, for almost every single LGBTQ+ person. For some, the difficulty may exist only in their minds— at least the severity of the reaction, response, repercussions. “If I come out, it might just kill grandpa so I’ll wait.” As far as I know, no one has actually died from hearing such news. When worrying about “what might happen,” it’s good to remember the adage, “Never borrow trouble from the future.” In my three decades of conducting LGBTQ choruses, I have heard the entire gamut of experiences. I’ve heard from some who, when they told their families or co-workers that they were gay, the latter responded with a disappointing, “We knew that. Let’s go to brunch.” That is not the case with the vast majority. For the rest of us, some of our fears are justified. For those like mine, coming out began a literal avalanche of pain. Many, like me, have considered suicide rather than face and share their truth. The family and friends would be better if I just disappeared. For all, coming out changes everything. Even it if is easy, finally telling the truth and living in it brings relief and freedom. It also brings an opportunity of deep integrity at being you. Truth does set you free. Go back with me for just a minute ... try to remember when you were in the closet. It could have been a tiny closet or enormous. It may have had security tantamount to Fort Knox. The door may also be as thin as tissue paper. There may have been windows! You may have just imagined what was outside or taken a peek or stuck a foot out from time to time. Regardless, it was a room full of secrets you didn’t want anyone to know.

ENJOY THE VIEW! CASTRO STREET CAM Live-streaming 24/7 http://sfbaytimes.com/castro-street-cam/ 20

SA N FRANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

Can you remember what or who you feared most? Can you remember all of the machinations you went through to avoid the closet door being ever so gently blown wide open? Hold those thoughts. Growing up is hard in and of itself. But for many of us, we knew, way down deep inside, we were different. We spent more time looking at same-gendered people in television shows. Middle school and high school were difficult. For a gay person, it was extra hard when it came to selecting extracurricular activities. SFGMC (San Francisco

Gay Men’s Chorus) has just released a hilarious, yet poignant, song titled “Extracurricular.” It chronicles the decision for a young gay man determining which of the following and more was the least gay: Diving? No. Theater? No. Wrestling? God no. Choir? Uh, no! You can find the song at our website ( www.sfgmc.org ) to hear the rest of the dangerous options! I came out at 35 years old. That act resulted in me first losing everything and then gaining everything. These last almost 35 years, I have had the privilege of being an activist through music. In those years, I have come in contact with thousands of LGBTQ+ people through the choruses I have conducted around the world. I’ve never had one single person say they wished that they had waited longer to come out. Every single person I know wishes they had come out sooner. The fears, while real, only got worse with every day delayed. The lies got more complicated; the efforts to cover it up more ludicrous. “Walk like a man. Talk like a man.” I’ve been asked why I talk about coming out all the time. The answer is to ask the questioner what the most important day in their own life is. Often it is a religious answer; sometimes marriage or the birth of a child. Why is that the most important day? Because after that day, everything changed. Everything was different. For me, the most important day in my life came in October, 1986. I came out. OK, I was outed. That’s a minor part of the story. After that day, everything was different. And though difficult beyond words, I was free. The truth had done that. As adults, my children sat at my side, holding me and sharing that, as hard as it was to lose their Dad, they now knew that what I did was also for them. They grew to be truth tellers and great people. Why should there be a National Coming Out Day? Three reasons. For those folks still in the closet, it gives them an impetus to come on out! The more publicity around it encourages them and gives them a point in time to act. They know it’s coming. They know it’s coming for them—sooner or later. The second reason is for the rest of us who are out. Just like all other holidays, it gives us a day to celebrate our own coming out. Count the years. Or the days. Celebrate our uniqueness. Take joy in our logical family and show our gratitude to our biological family members who love us. Finally, it is because our Patron Saint Harvey Milk used this as one of the tenets of his campaigns. If someone could say, “I don’t know any gay people,” they are less likely to support our entire movement. The same

dynamic existed during the AIDS pandemic. Tens of thousands of incredibly talented young men died of AIDS and their causes of death were reported as “natural causes” or “pneumonia.” Because of denial, people believed they didn’t know anyone who had AIDS when they most certainly did. I will celebrate this National Coming Out Day with all my heart. And, I’ll count every one of the 34 years with great joy. Who knows? I may even get a cake with 34 candles to celebrate each one of them. I will absolutely dress up in some amazing outfit. I may even Zoom with other gays! This article was pretty serious for me. It is a serious thing. I resisted the temptation to list all the accessories that come with being out! You may even find that your family, armed with their new knowledge, will start sending you every possible rainbow tchotchke on the planet! Bless their hearts. They are trying! I know what my wish will be when blowing the candles out. It will be that our world takes a look at its LGBTQ+ citizens and realizes we are equal in every way. Wait, I have two wishes. I also wish for all of my LGBTQ+ “siblings” to find the courage to be completely who they are without fear. Happy Coming Out Day! Sing along with me: “I’m coming out. I want the world to know!” Dr. Tim Seelig is the Artistic Director of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus.

Photos by Jasmin Dolla

Coming Out Stories

Mark Rhoades, Al Pacino, Jessica Engholm - Castro Theater

Mark Rhoades, Pernella Sommerville Mark Rhoades and Kathy and Tony Sananikone - Oscar Party 2019 Griffin back stage at the Castro Theater

AA Helped Me Accept My Sexuality with Pride By Mark Rhoades I grew up in California’s Central Valley, the only child of a hardworking single mother. We lived with my grandmother and grandfather in a small town called Tracy, between Stockton and Modesto. It was 63 miles and a world away from the open-minded, open-hearted freedom of San Francisco. I never had to come out to myself; I always knew I was gay. But Tracy was not a place where you wanted anyone else to know you were gay. From an early age, I knew to keep it to myself. I always tried to downplay my innate femininity, and instead to try to find ways to be accepted and liked. In high school, this became especially important. One way was actually being seen with a girl. So, I set my sights high. Since eighth grade, I had a crush on a girl whose name was identical to our town, Tracy. She was a class below me and considered the most beautiful girl in the school. Even though we didn’t know each other well, I asked her to be my date to

Mark Rhoades and Lindsay Bolton - Pride 2017

the Junior Prom, and to my surprise she accepted—she admitted she thought nobody would ever ask her. That prom was the highlight of my life up to that point. We had a wonderful time. She laughed at all of my jokes, and we really hit it off. We became friends, and spent all of our time together. I thought maybe I wouldn’t be gay if I loved Tracy. A few months later, we had a falling out, and broke it off. I was sad, but something told me that it was my path. A few months later, “Nick,” one of the most popular guys in the class behind me, became my lab partner in physiology class. (I know, such a cliché.) He was handsome, a football player, and all the girls were falling over him. When I saw him at the park on the Fourth of July, he pretended not to notice me. But eventually we began to hang out with the same group of friends. That group even came to San Francisco for a rock concert. That is when it happened. We spent the night, we cuddled, it was sweet and close. Although he insisted he was straight, we continued to cuddle and hold each other in private. I was on top of the world—I was in a secret relationship with the hottest guy in high school! He was funny, charismatic, charming. We had amazing talks for hours. We would trade clothes and spend time together. He was my true love.

Mark Rhoades, Pernella Sommerville, Lawrence Wong - Pride 2018

Sadly, it didn’t last more than a few months. I could sense “Nick” getting scared of being discovered in a relationship with me.

Mark Rhoades, Karen Caldwell, David Kensington - San Francisco Opera Ball 2017

He pulled away and stopped returning my calls. I was seventeen years old and thought I had found the one, someone completely spectacular, and suddenly he was leaving. I did everything to keep him—even enlisting my grandmother to make her famous fried chicken when he came to dinner. But nothing could make him stay, and I had nobody to share my pain with, nobody who could understand. Fortunately, the universe smiled on me and I made a true friend who made me feel so much better. Jason was one of the most popular guys at school, and being his friend meant nobody would pick on me. He acted like Sean Penn in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, showing up in a toga or with wet hair and a total attitude. We were never romantic, but we were, and are, deeply connected. Having him as my ally in that last year of high school helped me get to the other side of heartbreak. We are still friends today. Later that year I went to a party in Stockton. I was introduced to cocaine and my first male sexual encounter the same night. We got pulled over by the police, but somehow evaded a ticket. I was exhilarated by the experience, but

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

(continued on page 29)

O C TO BER 8, 2020

21

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2020)

Excerpt from Master Storyteller Valerie Miner’s New Collection Bread and Salt

We first met Miner at Betty’s List book events, and our admiration for her work has grown over the years. She now visits book clubs gratis on Zoom in support of indie bookstores—something else we admire. Miner, who lives in San Francisco and Mendocino with her partner, generously shared the following excerpt from Bread and Salt (2020, Whitepoint Press). It is a welcome slice of travel life during these more isolating pandemic months.) As the plane finally settles at the gate, you pull on your simple black coat with its zip in/zip out lining. Zipped back in now that you’re returning to the tundra. You edge toward the exit, bracing for that blast of winter air between plane and gangway. Three tortuous hours squeezed between a bickering couple, while the child behind kicks your seat to the rhythm of “The Lion King,” seeping from his earbuds. You offer to let the couple sit together. “No way!” they answer in unison. You address the child and

Relief is short-lived. Inside the clangorous terminal, you remember your four-hour layover. If all goes well, you’ll get to frigid Minneapolis at midnight. Then snatch five or six hours sleep before appearing at the office. OK, you’re a seasoned veteran of Greyhound Airlines; you can handle this. Keep busy. There’s plenty of unfinished work. So you laboriously roll your heavy bag, fiddling with the brief shoulder strap to forestall another rhomboid injury. Then, voila! An abandoned luggage cart. You unload and glide along, searching for a restaurant where you can read your charts on the laptop. ________________________ Just last night, in Orange Blossom Land: this reunion with your oldest friend in her favorite South Beach Café is the reward for that boring conference. A sweet, swanky night. After her second glass of wine, Janice leans over, smiling mischievously. “Tamar love, where did you find that dreary coat?” “It’s a classic black coat. Versatile, mid-calf, slimming,” you say, taking in Janice’s mauve mohair jacket over her emerald green shift. Muy tropical. All the Midwest is purged from your girlfriend, or at least camouflaged. “Tamar, really, you look like a nun.” “Come on,” you argue. “It’s practical, chic like a basic black dress. See how the red scarf brightens it up?”

Valerie Miner is loved by students in many nations around the world.

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ 22

SA N FRANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

PHOTO COURTESY OF VALERIE MINER

Two of her previous collections were Lambda Finalists, and we hope that Lambda honors her in the coming year. Her prior novels include Blood Sisters, After Eden, and All Good Women.

then his father about the foot percussion. Each stares back silently as if you are hallucinating. The flight attendant swears he has no empty seats. Finally, you’re leaving them all behind.

“OK, a post-Vatican Two nun,” she laughs. “Honestly Tam, it reminds me of the coats our moms wore to synagogue for Aunt Dina’s funeral. Next time I’m in the Cities, we’re going shopping and I’ll introduce you to the twenty-first century.” “I’d like that.” You grin. Sometimes you envy her Florida adventure. But your parents are frail and you can’t leave St. Paul. Janice, whose parents are cruising the Mediterranean, calls your filial attentiveness saintly, but as the only child, it’s just your job. ________________________ The new terminal, they say, will be state of the art. Right now, it’s a chaotic construction site with culinary choices ranging from dismal to forget it. You opt for sushi. Sushi at a Midwest airport: maybe not the brightest idea. Well, you feel like a light meal and a large Sapporo and they allow you to wheel in the luggage cart.

PHOTO: AMOOR/FLICKR

(Valerie Miner, a professor at Stanford University and an Artistin-Residence at the university’s Clayman Institute for Gender Research, is the award-winning author of fifteen books and has just published Bread and Salt, her fourth collection of stories. In it she deftly moves readers across the seas with lush prose and razor-sharp insight. The collection’s stories celebrate the musical complexity of language while addressing real world themes of immigration, suicide, gun violence, and state terrorism.

Focus, Tamar. Opening your laptop, you ignore tomorrow’s charts and feel called to scrub your inbox. A perfect task for the interstices of life. You do a search for Jonathan and resolve to delete all his messages as he deleted you from his life last month. Pathetic to hang on to these emails. With a sense of triumph, you press “delete” and watch them disappear. You boldly click again, emptying the trash. Would that it were so easy to erase loss or longing. Now onto work— answering client ques-

Valerie Miner

tions, negotiating with the engineer on your new office design. Too soon the sushi and, more disappointingly, the Sapporo, are finished. There’s a lot more email, but weary travelers hover nearby, hungrily eyeing your table. You pack up, bus your plate and start strolling. Still 4,000 more steps to walk today. Bargain ticket. Why did George get you the cheapest seat on earth? A lousy middle spot all the way from Miami. You’ve only been pleasant to George, offering lifts when his jalopy breaks down, soliciting his thoughts on designs. Your partners would never consult the office manager, but George has fresh, candid ideas. Maybe you’re too considerate and he takes you for granted? He manages great bookings for Dan and Angus and Lloyd. Half the time they’re bumped up to first class and get passes to those sleek airline lounges. Meanwhile, your flights are always botched—crummy seats and long layovers. It’s not some sort of sexist thing on George’s part? Of course it is. Just buck up. At least you have a job. And a free luggage trolley. Exercise will clear your head. You push the cart from one terminal to the next, past shops selling accessories, briefcases, cell phones, expensive men’s clothing. Walking briskly, it feels good to stretch your legs after three days of panels and papers and board meetings. The airport is packed with stranded winter holiday families: tired children and even more exhausted adults. So many passengers are dressed in pastels, perhaps an ancient pagan reflex to appease the gods of winter darkness. Still you

can’t imagine wearing pastel to an airport. “Excuse me, Miss.” An old man steps close, grabbing your arm anxiously. You’re startled, a little annoyed, then you sense his panic. “Are you OK?” “You work for the airlines, right?” He’s breathless, flushed. “Or the airport?” “No,” you’re sorry to disappoint him, “I’m just a passenger.” “Oh, I thought with the black uniform and all.” You will never tell Janice this story. “Sorry.” He’s trembling now. “Sorry to bother ...” He turns away. “Hold on.” You reach for his boney shoulder. “Is something wrong?” “Well,” he draws nearer, whispering hoarsely, “I lost my wife.” You take his hand. “Misplaced!” he adds quickly. “She’s not dead or anything.” His voice winds higher and fainter. “I told her to let the children visit us for Christmas.” “I bet she’s fine. Let’s look for Travelers’ Aid.” You walk him over to the airport map. “See that desk there?” You guide him closer. “They’ll help you. They can call her name over the loudspeaker. I’m sure you’ll find her soon.” Drained but resolute, the old man pivots toward the desk. He walks away without saying good-bye. You stride for another thirty minutes, 3,000 steps, and decide to look for a seat where you can review Monday’s

ICON TELL YOU LIKE MUSIC

ANSWER ON PAGE 28

Soul and R&B singer ShaGasyia “Shea” Diamond was discovered by a well-known songwriter, leading to a record deal, at a:

Karin Jaffie, aka Kit/Kitty Tapata, won the title of Mr. Gay San Francisco in 2011 and has earned many other honors since. Connect with Jaffie via Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/ktapata

A) Pride parade B) Kamala Harris campaign fundraiser C) Castro Street Fair D) Trans Lives Matter rally

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

meeting agenda. Bingo! An empty gate. Your concentration lasts exactly forty minutes. One-hundred-ten minutes to takeoff. Yawning and stretching your arms wide, you remember those isometric exercises, but are too shy to do them in public. Instead you consider another Sapporo. Nope, resume walking. Why did you leave your ear buds at home? A little music would muffle all this clanking, buzzing, sneezing, coughing and clattering. The overhead TVs blare alarm about a snow storm in New England. A man in a shiny green gabardine suit leans against a pillar shouting into his cell phone. You imagine he’s a giant frog and wonder if you’re losing your mind. At the next gate, a baby wails as a pasty-faced woman listlessly rocks her stroller back and forth, back and forth. People more sensible than you—Black, Asian, Latino, White, young, old, the whole world—are sequestered behind headphones or engrossed by paperbacks, deep in survival mode. Abruptly, a boarding pass is thrust in your face, grazing your cheek. You halt, feel temper rise at the intrusion. Then you look at the woman, perhaps twenty-five, perhaps North African or Middle Eastern, wearing a black hijab, long navy dress and holding a hefty toddler. You recall Janice’s crack about the nun. A hand of Fatima dangles from a gold chain around the woman’s neck. Poor thing is terrified, worn out, lugging her son and a battered houndstooth satchel, the kind you only find at yard sales any more. “Flight,” she demands. “Where?” Immediately you understand you may be her last resort. When

you read the ticket and discover the flight leaves in twenty minutes, you’re sure of it. “OK, let me check the terminal.” “Must hurry,” she stresses, frowning and on the verge of tears. “Late. Very late.” “Yes,” you nod. “But you’ll be fine.” You say this with your eyes as well because you’re not sure of her English. Doubtful, exhausted, she shifts the boy higher with her right arm and he squeezes her thin shoulders. The knuckles on her left hand are white from gripping the valise. “Here,” you adjust your luggage and hold out your hand. “We can put your bag in front of mine.” She regards you suspiciously. But you are, after all, some kind of airline agent, so she accepts the offer, relief flooding her face. “Your son.” You point to the upper rack, then touch his foot lightly. “He can sit here.” Her eyes widen. Shaking her head vehemently, clasping her son with the one arm, she reaches for the valise with the other. “OK, OK,” you say softly, holding up your palms. “Just the bag.” She nods, as if she’s given you something. “Gate B-23,” you whistle, “that’s pretty far.” She stares at you almost angrily, anxiously. “Cleveland.” More upbeat now, you speak slower. “Going to Cleveland.” “Cleveland, Ohio,” she answers solemnly. “OK, Cleveland!” You point to the Terminal B sign. “Cleveland here we come.”

Every gate is crowded. The damn airport grows ever more hectic. Hundreds of vacation refugees have been dumped between delayed flights. In a corner, a group of ten or twelve South Asian women lie on the floor, sound asleep. All around them, other passengers talk and eat and laugh.

She nods, blinks.

“Coming through,” you call. Then louder. “Boarding flight.” Where did you get this language? This authority?

“Happy New Year!” you cry back, glad for their reunion.

The human sea parts for you, the young mother and her squirming son. Several people approach with questions, but you wave them away politely. “Emergency Boarding flight.” A loud, controlled, professional tone. Two wheelchair caddies eye you skeptically, then shrug to each other. You don’t care. “Coming through!” The Food Court presents special obstacles as dazed passengers stand, immobilized by bright lights at Cinnabons, TCBY Yogurt and Starbucks. The air is ripe with salt, sugar, liquor and cooking oil. Good thing you didn’t have that second Sapporo; you’re high enough. “Coming through.” You suddenly slow down for the woman to catch up. She puts one hand on the cart, as if she’s still worried you’ll make off with her houndstooth bag. The boy is sniffling now, on the verge of meltdown, you can tell. Threading past McDonalds and Chilis and Curry Express, you spot B Terminal and show your companion.

A man waves eagerly. Really, you can only handle one passenger at a time. The old guy, clasping his wife’s hand, raises it in salute. “Merry Christmas!” he shouts.

“Coming through,” you call again. You haven’t had this much fun in ages. B23 is one of those tricky gates, around the corner from the desk. But you spot stragglers boarding. “Final count for Flight 78 to Cleveland,” a broken voice crackles over the loudspeaker. You can barely make out the words. How would this young woman understand? You roll the cart up to the queue. “Cleveland!” You smile at her. “Cleveland,” the young woman sighs. You hand her the bag. “Have a safe ...” Before you finish, she’s checking in, then rushing down the gangway, balancing bag and baby. No wave. No thank you. Why should there be? It’s all in a night’s work. Sixty more minutes until the Minneapolis flight.

For More Information

You brush off your coat, turn the cart around and wait.

Valerie Miner: https://valerieminer.com/

“Coming Through,” from “Bread and Salt” by Valerie Miner, published by Whitepoint Press, 2020.

Bread and Salt: https://tinyurl.com/yyt37s4w

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

O C TO BER 8, 2020

23

French Miniseries Proud Is Worth Cheering

Film Gary M. Kramer Now available on DVD is Proud, an engaging, three-part French miniseries from 2018 about fathers and sons, gay life in France, and the politics and social change that occurred in that country over the past few decades. The first episode is set in 1981, when discrimination against gays was still legal in France. The election of François Mitterrand provides a backdrop to emphasize the Socialist issues at stake and how they influence the characters who are hoping for a strong(er) France. Charles (Frédéric Pierrot) is the manager of a construction site, and his 17-year-old son Victor (Benjamin Voisin) helps him out after school. One afternoon, Charles spies Victor kissing his classmate Sélim (Sami Outalbali), the son of his foreman Sofiane (Hafid Djemaï). Charles doesn’t say anything about what he sees, but he is not pleased, and his conflict influences how he treats Victor, Sélim, and Sofiane. Proud shows how the personal is political in both its discussion of race— Sélim and Sofiane are Arab as well as working-class—and sexuality. Victor tries to “be straight” with his girlfriend Aurélie (Sophie Quinton), but one night he goes out cruising and meets Serge (Stanislas Nordey), an older man who takes him to bed. If this drama enters familiar coming out territory, the series avoids mawkish sentimentality in favor of a shrewd chat between Charles and Serge, with each man hoping to win the heart of Victor. The episode ends with Victor having to choose which man he wants to be with.

The program is particularly well acted by Voisin, who makes Victor sympathetic. When Victor is conflicted with his sexuality and bullied in school, his angst is palpable. And his exchanges with Serge express not only the novelty teenagers have when they fall in love for the first time, but also in the way he can so easily be heartbroken by a man of experience. Pierrot and Norday provide strong support; they ground the series and appear in all three episodes. The second part of Proud is set in 1999. Victor (played by Samuel Theis) is now an architect. He is romantically still connected to Serge, but they have an open relationship. Victor is discreet when he fools around, but his real need for discretion comes when he decides he wants to adopt a child— which was not viable for gay men and women at the time. Victor’s efforts to adopt show how gay men must subvert rules they did not make and do not want to follow.

strains that develop between Victor and Serge and Victor and his father. Proud manages these minidramas well, but it does get a bit obvious during a scene of Victor listening to opera while contemplating his fraught emotional state. It’s a minor misstep in a series that otherwise moves briskly. Faucon, who co-wrote the screenplay with José Caltagirone and Niels Rahou, makes his points without milking them. The film features a character with AIDS, and a subplot involving Basile (Phénix Brossard), a queer teen facing homelessness, without much didacticism. The last episode of the series is arguably the weakest as it concentrates on—spoiler alert—Diego ( Julien

Lopez), Victor’s adopted son. It is 2013, and Diego is a teenager who gets into fights at school with Paul (Hugo Sire). Diego also falls in love with Paul’s sister Noémie (Rebecca Marder). Politically, the episode addresses the legalization of gay marriage in France, but more significant is Victor being attacked by extremists on his way to a pride parade. Proud uses these situations—as well as Paul and his parents’ homophobia—to show how change is still necessary in contemporary France. If Charles has become more accepting over the decades, Victor, in raising his son, acts more like his father. These family dynamics are interesting to explore, and one wishes Faucon

could have expanded his series to that end. Instead, it as if some of the content, such as Victor’s flirtation with a doctor ( Jérémie Elkaïm), is crammed into the plot for expediency. But this is a minor drawback in a series that is compelling and provocative. The main characters— Charles, Serge, Victor, Sélim, and Diego—may all be stubborn, but they do reach epiphanies. © 2020 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

Meanwhile, civil partnership laws are being voted upon (though Victor and Serge claim they would prefer full equality). Adding to Victor’s complications is his unexpected reunion with Sélim (now played by Nicolas Cazalé), whom he meets on a job site. Sélim is married with two kids, but the old flame between them still burns. Before long, the men are stealing kisses and hooking up. How their relationship plays out, as well as what transpires with Victor’s efforts to adopt, form the central drama in this episode. The series benefits from the frisson between Victor and Sélim—Cazalé is irresistibly sexy—but also the emotional

LGBTQ+ Families Senator Zach Wahls; poet, activist, and author Staceyann Chin; America’s Got Talent alum Julia Scotti; and Bravo TV’s The Abbys. Excerpt from the forward by Judy Gold:

Words Michele Karlsberg Michele Karlsberg: Robin Hopkins and Jaimie Kelton are the co-hosts of the podcast “If These Ovaries Could Talk,” and are the authors of a book by the same title. They’re moms, lesbians (who are married to other ladies), and each have kids. And they’ve made it their mission to talk about LGBTQ families. Their new book is full of insights and stories addressing recurring questions about LGBTQ families that came up during their podcast. These include choosing an egg donor, sperm donor, or surrogate; adoption and foster care; navigating trans fertility; growing up with gay parents; being out as a family; talking to your kids about where they came from; and the legalese that often ensues for LGBTQ families. The book includes stories from actor and comedian Judy Gold; Iowa State 24

SA N FRANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

The great Harvey Milk said, “We will not win our rights by staying quietly in our closets.” But the truth is that even when we storm out of the closet and slam the door shut, we still have to come out every single day. Why? Because people constantly make assumptions and then voice them. Loudly. When you are LGBT and you add children to the equation, the comments and assumptions get even worse. One afternoon when my sons were young, I brought them to one playground in Riverside Park. A parent who was there asked me if I was planning on raising my boys as homosexuals. Absolutely! The only music we allow them to listen to is show tunes, and since we live in a one-bedroom apartment, they’ll be spending the first 18 years of their lives in the closet. And this happened in New York City! How does that even make any sense? Did my straight parents raise me to be a lesbian? So how can we avoid these awkward situations? Do yourself a favor and learn all you can about how LGBT families are created. Become knowledgeable about people whose families O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

Judy Gold

(Left ) Robin Hopkins and (right) Jaimie Kelton

look different from yours, and maybe you’ll figure out we’re not so different after all. Look, none of our kids are mistakes—it’s not like we got drunk one night and started dialing up the sperm bank. We had families because we wanted to. We jumped through hoops to make something that comes so easily to so many others. And as for our children? You can bet that they have to “come out” to every new person they meet who asks about their parents. If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family is an informative, in-depth journey that is equal parts funny, serious, happy, sad, celebratory, cautionary, and powerful. Authors Robin and Jaime compare the journey to parenthood for LGBTQ folks to a roller coaster ride. “At first, you’re really

excited. The car chugs up the hill, clink-by-clink, and suddenly you’re wondering when was the last time they tightened the bolts on the tracks? That’s how it is when you’re spending a lot of money trying to have kids in a world that’s not set up for families like yours. You just have to hold on and try to enjoy the ride.” Excerpt from “If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family.” Copyright © 2020 Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission from Lit Riot Press. Author Robin Hopkins is an awardwinning actor, writer, producer, and podcast host. She began her career as a stand-up comic in New York City, performing regularly

at Caroline’s, Comic Strip Live, Gotham Comedy Club, and Stand-Up New York. Her acting credits include Boardwalk Empire, Louie, Hindsight, and Mi America. Jaimie Kelton is an award-winning actor, voiceover artist, producer, and podcast host based in New York City. She has over 17 years of experience performing on stages in New York City, in Regional Theaters, and on National Tours. Michele Karlsberg Marketing and Management specializes in publicity for the LGBTQ+ community. This year, Karlsberg celebrates 32 years of successful book campaigns. For more information: https://www. michelekarlsberg.com

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2020)

Sparkling Movie Moments on YouTube That Are Fun and Free

Off the Wahl Jan Wahl These are times when we often need a quick fix, a few moments to lift our spirits. Easily surfing YouTube not only reveals sparkling showbiz moments, but also brief sequences of favorite films and subjects. Search for “Fred Astaire dancing on the ceiling” in Royal Wedding. He soars in this musical sequence, actually titled “You’re All the World to Me,” which has never been replicated. He finds himself in love and expresses it as only Fred can, but this time up walls and literally on the ceiling. It is just a momentary ride in this world, but one well worth taking. Who is your favorite painter? I have many, from Rembrandt to Van Gogh. But for soothing visuals, it is always Monet. A search for “Monet” at YouTube turned up Claude Monet: A Collection of 1540 Paintings. Set to sweet music, this is a guide through many of Monet’s paintings. It would be nice to go to Giverny right now, but this is the next best thing. To Have and Have Not’s “The Whistle Scene” brings us a classic movie moment that proves sultry is better than graphic. Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart have the sizzling screen chemistry when she asks him if he knows how to whistle. This is a chance to study great Howard Hawks direction and the film’s lighting, costumes, and camerawork. Hawks wrote the scene (no help from Hemingway, Faulkner, or Furthman) as an audition for Bacall. Needless to say, she got the part. When I need an out loud laugh, YouTube is the place I frequently go to. Maybe because I’ve been in showbiz for most of my life, but Jiminy Glick is my guy. Martin Short spoofs every bad interviewer of stars ever, and Jiminy is truly terrible. A search for “The Best of Jiminy Glick” and Primetime Glick will guide you through the demented mind and body of the notorious Glick as he attempts to interview everyone from Larry David to Mel Brooks to Edie

Falco. Short is one of the funniest people I’ve interviewed, but nobody tops Jiminy Glick for getting the worst out of people. Shocking but fun. Maybe it’s because I married a man from small town Iowa or I’m just in love with sublime performance, but it just cannot get better than Robert Preston as The Music Man singing “Ya Got Trouble.” It’s a capital T that rhymes with P that stands for pool. Preston is perfectly cast as a so-called music professor trying to start a boys’ band in River City. We are shocked to find a pool table in our community, and Preston’s Harold Hill has a possible way out for us. It’s an upbeat, fun number with a remarkable leading man just when we need it. Marisa Tomei won the Oscar as Best Supporting Actress for My Cousin Vinny. The scene that so many of us remember is when she explains to a jury how a car works. The place is rural Alabama and two New York young men have been accused of murder. Tomei gets every word right as she carefully explains tired and skid marks. All you need to do is search for “My Cousin Vinny: Automotive Expert.” Many of us are animal lovers and find that their antics put a smile on our faces. Happy Dogs and Cat in Australia is a compilation that includes every kind of dog and one wonderful cat dancing, swimming, laughing, and basically reminding us of how much we can learn from these wonderful creatures. It is all done to the music of Pharrell Williams, so we’re talking happy! There are so many other paths to take for a distraction or escape. Thank you, YouTube! Emmy Award-winner Jan Wahl is a renowned entertainment reporter, producer, and teacher. A member of the prestigious Directors Guild of America, she is regularly featured on KPIX television (every Monday morning starting at 6:15 am) and on KCBS AM & FM and other media outlets. To read and listen to her reviews for KCBS, go to: https://kcbsradio.radio.com/authors/jan-wahl For more info about her remarkable life and career: http://www.janwahl.com/ Check out her entertaining and informative videos at http://sfbaytimes.com/

YouTube Links:

Royal Wedding

Royal Wedding: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbcW04DLSxQ Monet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCVYEqc_Hw4 To Have and Have Not: The Whistle Scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30DSfAA0brs The Very Best of Jimmy Glick: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwRg5PiovHQ Primetime Glick: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDKoe-DnufY The Music Man “Ya Got Trouble” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI_Oe-jtgdI Happy Dogs and Cat in Australia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DePFiF-nNoE S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

O C TO BER 8, 2020

25

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “After the First Debate, I have to agree with Joe Biden that Trump is ‘the worst president America has ever had.’ No debate there!” During FOLSOM STREET FAIR, hosted by LEATHER & LGBTQ Cultural District & Folsom Street Events—which was only virtual because of you-know-what— attendees had a fun, raunchy trip through the world of kink, featuring the first-ever Fetish Runway! They played SOMA Trivia, joined a Discussion Room, tried some MST3K-style adult video riffing, and cruised the Consent Cubicles. Of course, it was nothing like being in the flesh, but nothing is with these crappy Covid cubicles we are all forced to communicate from. Hosted by SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE, INC., Sisters from Orders all over the world and their friends will come together to celebrate Ruth Bader Ginsburg on October 9, 7 pm, at Castro and Market Streets. The Sisters will saint her with the title of “Saint Ruth Bader Ginsburg: Mensch of Magistrates, Mamele of Justice, and Tzadik Notorious RBG of the Divine Striking Dissent.” SPI is not a religious organization, but we are made up of people representing many religions, spiritual practices, and faiths. We do recognize and respect that RBG was proudly Jewish and we do not feel by sainting her that we are in any way disrespecting her faith. We have sainted many people who identify as Jewish—and, in fact, Harvey Fierstein was so tickled that he said he couldn’t wait to tell his rabbi. We are honoring the life of our Notorious RBG to help make sure her legacy will live forever. This will be online, via a live feed on our page: https://www.facebook.com/SFSisters/ Meanwhile, anti-LGBTQ activist Brian Brown told supporters that Trump’s Supreme Court nominee will be essential to ensuring that rights “for homosexuals and the socalled transgendered ... will no longer see the light of day.” Sister Dana sez, “Trump insists on continually incorrectly calling this ‘the China virus.’ Let’s give credit where credit is due. Let’s call it ‘The Trump virus.’” Hundreds of us remembered the incomparable Matthew Simmons/ Peggy L’eggs (who passed peacefully and unexpectedly on September 8) at the online memorial, PEGGY L’EGGS CELEBRATION OF LIFE on September 26. Hosted by Peaches Christ & Heklina, the Twitch virtual event included remembrances and performances from friends and family. We recalled with nostalgia the many delightful appearances that Peggy made at Trannyshack, Midnight Mass, Viva Variety, Hypnodrome, and other venues. We heard from fellow SHANTI PROJECT worker Tina Garcia about the amazing work Matthew did at Shanti. We learned from high school buddies that her earlier character was Audrey, a wannabe pageant queen with tiara and sash who was forever recovering from some acci26

SA N FRANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

dent—sometimes in neck brace and other times on crutches. I first knew her as Peggy the unfortunate narcoleptic who kept briefly falling asleep and waking up and back to sleep during her hilarious monologues. Peggy was known for her amazing pratfalls. One of her many drag daughters, Vanilla Meringue, was also her makeup artist. We discovered Matthew was a fierce nerd member of the Fierce Read book club—along with Peaches, Timmy Spence, and Martiny. We had the pleasure of viewing videos of Peggy’s starring roles in Club Inferno, Annie, Sister Dana Throwback! This image from the Sisters of PerpetPanto, and Tenderloin ual Indulgence Facebook page presenting a 1988 photo of (left Stripper. Sister Merry to right) Sister Blanche DeRoote, Sister Roma, Sister Dana Peter read stirring and Sister Vish. According to Sister Roma, the photo was pubprose and spoke of lished in FRISKO magazine in their pictorial feature “The Most Matthew encouragDangerous Women in San Francisco.” Sister Dana’s autograph appears in the right margin. ing MP to become a Nun. DRUNK DRAG donated over $50,000 in proceeds to BROADWAY presented several their amazing nonprofit beneficiary of her beautiful Broadway parorganizational partners to help them ody shows. She was also a singer/ continue providing essential services keyboardist with punk band to the communities in and around PEPPERSPRAY, for which I the Castro. Additionally, they are had the privilege of attending proud that they were able to support their cast party when they opened the purchase and maintenance for Cher at the Concord Pavilion. of the world-famous Rainbow Raya Light lit candles and Flag that flies in Harvey Milk Plaza. showed off her vast collection of Unfortunately, the coronavirus canPeggy/Matthew photos. Alexa & celled the open air fair, but folx can Tommy Salami spoke about OUT donate at LOUD and their plans for a Peggy https://castrostreetfair.org/fair/ tribute zine (paper and online) of photos, audios, videos, and art from The GLBT HISTORICAL contributors (please submit these SOCIETY MUSEUM is now to foreverpeggyleggs@gmail.com ). open on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and The memorial concluded with Saturdays from noon to 5 pm. New numerous slides and videos of ticketing and visitor policies have Peggy in her many memorabeen adopted to comply with city and ble moments with the background state health regulations and to ensure of Bjork singing "It's Oh So Quiet." proper social distancing. Visitors As you know, the song starts off must reserve their tickets online in softly with shushing sounds and advance. www.glbthistory.org suddenly bursts into a riot of "zing! Hosted by Peaches Christ an boom! wow! bam!"—so aprod Marga Gomez and featuring pos of Peggy’s riotous personality! performances by Freddie Seipoldt Following the memorial, we were and Breanna Sinclairé, this year’s invited to an online reception with GLBT Historical Society GALA, Kylie Minono for more sharing of “REUNION: MAKING memories and conversation. HISTORY,” will be an evening of THE SF LGBT CENTER’s powerful performances, inspiring annual SOIRÉE goes virtual presentations, and a heartfelt on Saturday, October 10, 6 pm. celebration of LGBTQ historySister Roma debuts as emcee; makers. The proceeds directly Juanita MORE! returns as support their mission of preserving Entertainment Director; and and sharing LGBTQ history. More LadyRyan returns as Party DJ. info and to register online: www.sfcenter.org/soiree2020 https://www.glbthistory.org/gala NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY Lisa Geduldig presents (NCOD) is an annual LGBTQ LOCKDOWN COMEDY featurawareness day observed on October ing comics Diane Amos, Scott 11 to support LGBTQ people (and Blakeman, Victor Pacheco, sometimes other groups typically Lisa Geduldig, and Lisa’s mother, grouped within that community) to Arline Geduldig on Thursday, “coming out of the closet.” First celOctober 15, 7 pm, and every 3rd ebrated in the U.S. in 1988, the initial idea was grounded in the feminist Thursday of the month. Zoom in and laugh along with the audiand gay liberation spirit of the perence! https://bit.ly/30BwBm6 sonal being political, and the emphasis on the most basic form of activism SPARK 2020 is TRANSGENDER being coming out to family, friends, LAW CENTER (TLC)’s virand colleagues. I don’t know about tual event on Friday, October 16, others, but Sister Dana cannot 5 pm. This free gala has a fundpossibly come any further out of the raising goal to sustain their mission closet!!! of keeping trans and gender nonSPIRIT DAY is October 15. LGBTQ conforming people alive, thriving, youth disproportionately face buland fighting for liberation. SPARK lying and harassment because of emcee is Honey Mahogany, activtheir identities. Every year, milist, politico, and drag queen. Honey lions GO PURPLE for Spirit Day to is an appointed member of the support LGBTQ youth in a united San Francisco Democratic County stand against bullying. We can wear Central Committee, the co-founder purple, make our social media purple, of the Compton’s Transgender and take the purple pledge. Cultural District, a co-owner of the https://www.glaad.org/spiritday Stud Bar, and a legislative aide in San Francisco. She’s gonna add a lotta Since 1998, the CASTRO STREET sparkle to SPARK! If you are able, FAIR is proud to have given nearly $1.5 million back to its community (continued on page 27) beneficiaries. Last year alone they

Speaking to Your Soul

Astrology Elisa Quinzi

The current cosmic conditions mirror the ongoing intensification of the unfolding Earth drama. A seemingly chaotic cauldron of caustic elements is triggering our vulnerability, both individually and collectively, and pushing us to deeply and immediately contemplate what survival requires of us.

(Editor’s Note: Please join us in welcoming back Elisa Quinzi, a Certified Professional Astrologer, to the San Francisco Bay Times! Regular readers will likely recall her longstanding prior column. This issue marks the popular column’s return. Look for her articles each month and consider contacting her directly if you would like a more personalized reading.)

ARIES (March 21–April 19) Your anxiety has been amped up in recent months, but you were born for this moment. Always the warrior, you have an impulse to win. However, try to see yourself in your enemies now in order to heal the gaping divide.

LIBRA (September 23–October 22) Happy birthday, Libra! As you are one who is usually thinking of others, it’s okay to put yourself first now. Relationships will trigger useful conflict, which if used rightly can push you to give birth to a whole new you. Establish healthy boundaries.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Your fears can be mitigated by paying attention to the details of your life. Channel your energy into creating order, beauty, and harmony in your immediate surroundings.

SCORPIO (October 23–November 21) You are not one to trust easily, so meditation, contemplation, and spiritual rituals can help ground you now. Let your grief and suffering crack you open to access an inner power that has been lying dormant until now.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20) Give yourself permission to enjoy some simple pleasures. From this relaxed, rejuvenated state, a well of creativity bubbles forth a message for the masses. Your brilliant mind has a story to tell that is an essential piece of this giant puzzle.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22–December 21) The world needs your optimistic light, and social justice causes beckon you. As your own values have been shapeshifting this year, the circles you give your time and talent to must change accordingly.

CANCER ( June 21–July 22) Let “peace within” be your mantra now. As you cultivate diplomacy at home, and balance in your being, you’re better equipped to fight for justice in the world around you.

CAPRICORN (December 22–January 19) If anyone has undergone an overhaul this year it’s you, Cap. As such, be sure you are taking solo time to suss out your next most authentic moves. Your mission has likely changed to be more aligned with the new, as-yet-unfolding you.

LEO ( July 23–August 22) A portal opens for you to see more possibility for harmonious interactions with those around you. It’s a good time to bridge gaps with people who might think differently than you, and to connect via your commonalities.

AQUARIUS ( January 20–February 18) Your passionate opinions could crack some eggs now. While you have much genius to offer the world at this time, you’ll be most helpful as you tailor your views to unite people rather than divide further.

VIRGO (August 23–September 22) Your gifts of tact and diplomacy are highlighted now, and people will buy what you’re offering. You have a tendency to doubt yourself, but currently the planets encourage you to take action to increase your earning power. Stay steady.

PISCES (February 19–March 20) Partnership can, and must, support your personal values as well as your mission. Your mission must make use of your gifts of healing, imagination, and spiritual awareness, which are all ripe and ready to pour forth through you into the world.

Elisa Quinzi is a certified professional astrologer who brings a strong spiritual perspective, as well as over 20 years of experience, to her work with clients. Contact her at futureselfnow@gmail.com or at 818-530-3366 with your exact birth time to schedule or to ask questions.

SISTER DANA (continued from page 26)

MILLER (continued from page 8)

become a sponsor today, and help them raise $100k for TLC’s critical legal and advocacy services. https://transgenderlawcenter.org/

funds and annuities, for example—that control how much of their inheritance your kids can get at any given time.

Sister Dana sez, “Now that we know Commander-in-Cheat Trump paid only $750 income taxes in both 2016 and 2017, let’s start calling him ‘The $750 Man.’” SF GAY MEN’S CHORUS kicks off their virtual season on October 17, 6 pm, with a premiere of a new work by Andrew Lippa featuring Kristin Chenoweth and SFGMC; also recognizing Chasten Buttigieg. Tix free at: https://www.sfgmc.org/season-43 Sister Dana sez, “Donald’s son, Eric Trump, raised eyebrows when he claimed he was part of the LGBTQ community during an interview on Fox News. He is not. And we don’t want him!” The LGBTQ+ BLACK LIVES MATTER UNITY TOWN HALL is a call for the community to come together to address and heal from anti-Black bias and systemized oppression. Straight allies and white allies are encouraged to join OPENHOUSE LGBT SENIOR CENTER on October 17 and 18, 1–3 pm. Panelists include Afrika America, Alex U. Inn, Aria Sa’id, Joe Hawkins, and Zwazzi Sowö. There will be small break-out groups to explore the issues further. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/lgbtq-black-lives-matter-unity-town-hall-tickets

Obviously, your own situation is unique. But self-awareness is the key first step. Taking the time to add up what you actually have and defining what you want to accomplish are the best weapons for fighting your financial phobias. It is too bad that ending this nightmare of a year isn’t so easy. The opinions expressed in this article are for general informational purposes only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual or on any specific security. Brio does not provide tax or legal advice, and nothing contained in these materials should be taken as such. To determine which investments may be appropriate for you, consult your financial advisor prior to investing. As always please remember investing involves risk and possible loss of principal capital; please seek advice from a licensed professional. Brio Financial Group is a registered investment adviser. SEC Registration does not constitute an endorsement of Brio by the SEC nor does it indicate that Brio has attained a particular level of skill or ability. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Brio Financial Group and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. No advice may be rendered by Brio Financial Group unless a client service agreement is in place. Brandon Miller, CFP®, is a financial consultant at Brio Financial Group in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals.

Robert Reich, political analyst and author of his latest book, THE SYSTEM: Who Rigged It, How to Fix It, has revealed Mitch McConnell’s plan to DESTROY the United States Post Office, stating, “Mitch McConnell has been blocking $25 billion in funding for USPS for (now more than) 98 days.” Sister Dana sez, “We better vote Blue—or else boo-hoo-hoo!” GGBA MEMBER SPOTLIGHT (continued from page 9) GGBA: How has being a member of GGBA helped CHEER SF and the CHEER For Life Foundation?

GGBA: Is CHEER SF still very active now, given that the pandemic has impacted so many community events?

Christopher Lintz: Membership exposes our unique program to potential clients, donors, beneficiaries, and volunteers. We see every member of the GGBA as a potential like-minded partner in the work we do to support a thriving community and are thrilled to be a part of the network.

Christopher Lintz: While our normal performance season was upended by COVID-19, our team is still hard at work. If you have a virtual event, business reopening or simply want to send a friend some spirit for a special occasion, consider hiring us for a digital or socially-distanced cheer! We’d love to help us all celebrate wherever possible in this difficult time—and as a 501(c)3 our fees are tax-deductible.

GGBA: Do you go to the (now virtual) GGBA monthly Make Contact networking events? Have they benefited you and CHEER SF, and would you recommend them to others? Christopher Lintz: Yes—we always love a chance to socialize (we’re cheerleaders!) and the Make Contact events are a great way to create connections and foster a real support system in the community.

For More Information CHEER SF: https://www.cheersf.org/ CHEER For Life Foundation: http://www.cheerforlife.org/ S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

O C TO BER 8, 2020

27

KROOT (continued from page 4)

ROSTOW (continued from page 7)

office to address: housing, preventing displacement, and providing basic healthcare.

in the countryside while someone reviews dozens of side effects in a pleasant, unthreatening, voice. Is it really cost-effective to air these to a mass audience on cable? And do the makers of these products actually think we ourselves can convince our doctors to prescribe something we saw on television rather than continue with whatever the specialist recommended?

The city effectively shut down shelters, so we saw a ballooning of the homeless population. Myself and the entire board have tried to get the city to take a bolder approach to acquiring hotel rooms. In D5, we set up a Safe Sleeping Village. My office organized volunteers to do wellness checks for seniors, including deliveries of masks and sanitizer for people in public housing, homeless shelters, and senior centers. Our office passed one of the state’s strongest eviction bans, so that no one loses their home due to the pandemic. We also led the way on the eviction moratorium for small businesses. Jennifer Kroot: I’ve heard you have family holocaust history. Does this inspire your activism? Dean Preston: Yes. My dad and his parents were German Jews, who fled the Nazis as refugees. Interestingly, at the same time my family fled Germany, here in D5, Japanese Americans were rounded up and imprisoned in internment camps. I am very aware that D5 has a dark history of displacement for many communities. My family history certainly guides my work. Standing up to folks who abuse power is a big theme for me—whether I’m protesting with BLM for civil rights or confronting police misconduct through litigation or helping to defend neighborhoods against real estate speculators who only care about profits. Jennifer Kroot: Speaking of BLM, how are you working to stop racial inequality locally? Dean Preston: While I serve the entire district, I made the decision to prioritize the needs and issues of the Black community in the Fillmore. Historically, this neighborhood has been the most neglected. We received money through the MTA, allocated for lighting plans. Same on traffic and pedestrian safety improvements. We worked with The Black Firefighters Association to re-name a street after San Francisco’s first Black firefighter, Earl Gage, Jr. I’m thrilled to honor a local civil rights icon this way. Jennifer Kroot is a filmmaker known for her LGBTQ themed documentaries including “The Untold Tales of Armistead Maupin” and “To Be Takei.” Kroot is a Bay Area native, and has lived in San Francisco for 31 years (15 years in District 5). She studied filmmaking at SFAI, where she has also taught. Jennifer is a member of The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

I know what you’re thinking. But we’re not Donald Trump, thank God. Speaking of Trump, one of the things that frustrates me the most is that huge stories are falling into the void of old news as we struggle to keep up with the latest bombshells. Trump said soldiers who die for their country are “losers.” Not only did he pay no taxes for years, but he has been burning through millions and has to repay several billion dollars in personal loans within a couple of years. We don’t know who holds those loans or what he will do in order to repay them. His former campaign chair was involuntarily hospitalized after drunkenly playing with guns and hitting his wife. That barely registered. The debate was one of the most astonishing evenings in the history of this country’s presidential politics. And now, dozens of people in his orbit have Covid, while he himself is running around the White House on a steroid high without a mask and pretending to have beaten the virus. The only constant is the daily improvement in Biden’s margins that we observe on 538, where, as I write, Biden now wins 82 out of 100 election simulations, including 38 landslides. We’re also increasing our chances for taking over the Senate to 68 out of 100 simulations, with no help from our man in North Carolina, Cal Cunningham, who picked this moment to get caught sexting someone who is not his wife. Really, Cal? Apres Lui, Le Deluge I shudder to imagine what will develop between now and my next deadline. Unlike some in my circle of friends, I have no desire to see Trump’s life hang in the balance. I don’t want him to engender sympathy. I certainly could not stomach the pomp and circumstances of a funeral for a sitting president and I don’t want Pence to step into the highest office and perhaps upset the election. I want Trump to continue his present unhinged trajectory, shedding votes along with the virus until the only ones still cheering are the Proud Boys and the deplorables. I have the TV on mute with the captions on, but still, just this minute, I see that a number of Pentagon officials are quarantining, following the positive test of the number two at the Coast Guard, who earlier joined the top brass at meetings of the Joint Chiefs. Who else will drop off the playing field in the next days and weeks? What further symptoms will Trump manifest? Will he really attend the second debate, which is just around the corner on October 15? He insists he will, but how is that possible?! What will happen at tomorrow’s Veep showdown? You know the answer to that by now, but it’s still in my future. Mel and I came up with a drinking game for the first debate, and we were well on our way to inebriation thanks to Biden’s repeated use of one of our target phrases: “Here’s the deal.” But soon enough we just looked at each other and gave up, pouring a steady stream from a pitcher of vodka and grapefruit punch into our empty glasses until we finally turned off the insane barrage. This reminds me that I have to start working on my Harris-Pence drinking game, which will have to include: “Kamala Harris, for the people.” A Good Note Finally, I’ve never followed major league soccer, but the story out of San Diego was the most hopeful thing I’ve encountered in many months. Winning 3–1 at halftime, the San Diego Loyal SC coach, Landon Donovan, tried in vain to get the ref to issue a red card to a player from the other team, Junior Flemings of Phoenix Rising, who called San Diego’s openly gay player Collin Martin a “batty boy,” which is an antigay Jamaican slur. When the ref declined, the team forfeited the game in solidarity with Martin, losing their chance at the playoffs, an inspiring gesture of respect and sportsmanship. “We made a vow to ourselves that we would not stand for bigotry, homophobic slurs, and things that don’t belong in our game,” Donovan explained. “Our guys said we will not stand for this and they were very clear in that moment that we are giving up all hopes of making the playoffs. They are beating one of the best teams in the league but they said it doesn’t matter and there are more things important in life and we have to stick up for what we believe in. They made the decision to walk off and I have tremendous pride in this group and I am really proud of this organization and that I get to be a part of it.” Martin’s teammates put their arm around his shoulders as the Loyal left the field. Flemings denied using the slur, but he was overheard by multiple sources and it was picked up on a microphone. So, there’s that. Thank you, San Diego Loyal, for lifting our spirits. arostow@aol.com

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ ANSWER (Question on pg 22) D) Trans Lives Matter rally

Pop songwriter Justin Tranter was so impressed by Diamond’s a cappella performance of the song “I Am Her” at a Trans Lives Matter rally that he co-signed Diamond to Asylum Records and began writing and recording with her.

28

SA N FRANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

RHOADES (cont’d from page 21) disappointed my first wasn’t with “Nick.” After graduation I met a man named Paul who was devastatingly handsome in a bad boy kind of way. He would sneak over to my house and we would make out, even though he said he was straight. Paul introduced a lot of drama into my life, and we broke it off when I went away to college. I moved to San Francisco to attend UCSF, and lived in the dorms. I was finally living in a place where I could be truly, openly gay. But the transition was difficult. I didn’t know how to be openly gay. I would regularly go to a bar near campus to fortify myself before working up the courage to go to the gay bars in the Castro. I wanted to learn how out gay men behaved, and to see how I fit in. I felt I needed the alcohol for the courage to venture into this new world, but the drinking became out of hand. When I went back to my hometown over school break, I decided to come out to my mother and grandmother, saying, “Remember Paul? We were actually dating.” They surprised me by saying, “We don’t have a problem with your dating a man. We have a problem with your drinking. You need to get help for that, and soon.” When I went back to school in San Francisco, I began to go to AA meetings. They changed my life. They gave me a new way to relate to the world, and the courage that I was seeking through alcohol. I am happy to say I have been sober for 31 years. AA helped me accept my sexuality with Pride. It gave me the confidence to come out to all of my family and friends and be who I truly am without shame or apology. When I returned home for a visit, I began to tell people there, too. In one memorable episode, I interrupted my cousin Lisa and her friend Tiffany getting ready for a party, saying. “I need to tell you that I’m gay.” They responded, “Yeah, we knew,” and continued to do their hair and makeup as if it was no big deal. I guess in a way it didn’t have to be. AA helped me see the value of an authentic life. It gave me a strong foundation in myself that made it much easier to be true to myself and not have to live a secret life. Once I came out to the people who knew me, I became proud of being a gay man. I started volunteering and fundraising for LGBTQIA organizations, something I continue to do three decades later. Becoming active in this community gives me a sense of identity and hopefully welcomes others. No matter where you are from, you deserve to be who you are, and to be happy about that. Mark Rhoades is a public relations consultant with over 10 years of experience promoting clients across celebrity, lifestyle, fashion, and consumer industries. Current and past clients include Bloomingdales, Jennifer Newsom, Al Pacino, Joy Venturini Bianchi, and Lisa Vreeland. For more information: https://www.markrhoadespr.com/

Take Me Home with You!

“Ginger and Bellatrix are double the feline fun! These 4-year-old best friends are looking for a home that they can share together. They may be a bit shy at first, but they quickly warm up and will start asking for love. They’re sweet, easygoing, and love to snuggle with each other. These beauties are looking for a quiet, mellow home where they can relax and enjoy the good life.” Ginger and Bellatrix are presented to San Francisco Bay Times readers by Dr. Jennifer Scarlett, the SF SPCA’s Co-President. Our thanks also go to Krista Maloney for helping to get the word out about lovable pets like Ginger and Bellatrix. To apply to meet Ginger and Bellatrix, visit www.sfspca.org/adopt For more information: https://www.sfspca.org/adoptions

FISCHER (continued from page 5) recommending a “three-bullet-vote” of incumbent Jenny Lam, and second-time candidates Alida Fisher and Michelle Parker. Yes, you can pick a fourth, but you’re on your own because no one else took the 2–3 minutes to text me, share their vision and goals, and ask for my support (let that be a lesson to future candidates, I am very easy to reach).

Dr. Jennifer Scarlett and Pup

Enjoy October, Wear Your Mask, and Stay Safe! www.sfbaytimes.com

Vote as if your life depends on it, which sadly, in these “unprecedented times,” is not just a cliché anymore. Louise (Lou) Fischer is a Former Co-chair of the Board of Directors of the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club and has served as an appointed and elected Delegate for the State Democratic Party. She is a proud graduate of the Emerge California Women’s Democratic Leadership program, was a San Francisco Commissioner, and has served in leadership positions in multiple nonprofit and community-based organizations. S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

O C TO BER 8, 2020

29

NICKOLAS SUTTIE/FACEBOOK

Remembering Tommy Westerberg

A beloved member of the Castro’s LGBT community, Tommy Westerberg (1963–2020) was remembered by friends and colleagues on Sunday, September 27, at The Mix bar on 18th Street in an informal ceremony emceed by Sister Carry Me Away. A large collage of photos was created at the 18th and Castro intersection that included numerous tributes and flowers. Donations in memory of Westerberg can be made to the True Colors United organization, a nonprofit advocating to end LGBTQIA+ homelessness. https://truecolorsunited.org/

Umbrellas were available for diners at the outdoor tables in front of Twin Peaks where food from Orhpan Andy’s can be ordered and enjoyed.

Flipper’s Gourmet Burgers is a new restaurant on Polk Street.

LiveFit Gym has reopened on Polk Street.

Artwork by artist Jazz Fuller in the front windows at MX3 Fitness on Market Street near Castro

The LGBT-friendly restaurant Puerto Alegre on Valencia Street in the Mission, specializing in enchiladas and chimichangas, is now offering outdoor seating.

Gift mugs promoting Kamala Harris and Dr. Anthony Fauci are available at PO Plus in the Castro.

A truck with Spanish language messages promoting Census 2020 made its way through the traffic near Civic Center. 30

SA N FRANCISCO BAY   T I ME S

O C TO B E R 8 , 2 0 2 0

A sign supporting the Biden/Harris campaign in the window at Harvey’s bar and restaurant

Round About - All Over Town - Fall Season Photos by Rink

CASTRO STREETCAM presented by

Halloween gift dolls for sale at PO Plus on Castro Street

A Halloween Tree in the window of the One Half Store on Polk Street

The Halloween displays in the front windows at Cliff’s Variety feature a scary ghost, a bloodthirsty nymph and unique black flamingos.

http://sfbaytimes.com/

Table service was available on 18th Street during the street closure on Sunday, September 27.

Sister Roma, who will serve as emcee, was filmed in front of the Castro Theatre for a video promoting the October 14-17 UCSF Art for AIDS benefit to be held on October 17.

Popular outdoor service during the street closure on 18th Street

Outdoor service at Bhoga on Castro Street

Owner/operator Zaid “Ze” Almassri serves up his “best chocolate milkshake in the Castro” at The Golden Grill.

SFPD Officers Canchola and Oropeza with Castro Business Association president Masood Samereie on Sunday, September 17.

The headless mannequin in the window at the HRC store in the Castro displays a “Unite for Equality” sign and an “Embrace Love” t-shirt.

Rachel Fewx, member of a Boy Scout Troop based in Union City, offered Blasin’ Hot flavored popcorn at the troop’s fundraising table in front of Harvey’s on September 27.

Bicyclists enjoyed taking a ride in the closed street area on Valencia Sreet.

Jesse Garcia supported Supervisor Aaron Peskin’s bid for reelection in front of the Russian Hill Walgreens on Polk Street.

Luke Fewx displayed the caramel corn for sale at his Union City-based Boy Scout Troop’s table near the corner of 18th and Castro Streets.

The outdoor parklet at Amelia’s restaurant on Polk Street urges wearing a mask to save lives. S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY   T IM ES

O C TO BER 8, 2020

31